h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got the same birthday as my mum, the best birthday prezzie for her ever

Er, *clears throat* hate to bring this up...but we weird Americans WON
THE WAR!!! HA! IT'S YOU saying things front to back Nay-nay!!!
December 9, 1956 I'm thinking of going before Congress to have it becoma a National Holiday Perhaps International?!?

I'm not all that brave...it's just that when things, esp. life threaghtening things get tossed in my path...I do have to do something about it. I don't get scared around here because I ALWAYS carry a gun. I'm a fair shot & between the guns & the dobe...I'm safe! My favorite thing to do is sleep in the hammock that hangs next to the river. There are two male friends who go out of their way twice daily to check to see that everythinhg 'looks' okay here. If something is different they stop & check to see if I'm safe! I'm Blessed to have many people who care for me. And since I've found h2g2...I just continue to meet wonderful people! You Know Who You Are

Thankyou

What wars that then?
We've had hundreds of wars here, even a hundred years war. Thats "we" as in British. "We" as in "we Scots" however never win wars, and we aren't half proud of it! Especially when losing to the English. Its a moral victory to lose to the English...well, if you're Scots that is...it being the only sort of victory we had...well almost.


My birthday IS a national holiday.
The Monday closest to 31st August is the August Bank Holiday. However we could always do with more, so if you want help standing before Congress....

I'm looking forward to the next bank holiday, heh heh....any guesses?

So am I.

I'M SEEING SKANDAL AGAIN THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I've wondered for years, so, I'll ask. What's a Bank Holiday all about?
The ONLY war that I know of between the Americans & the English is the one where you all came over here & tried to force usn's to have people with crowns on theor heads tell us how to behave & we-uns just wanted to live in shacks & eat rabbit No time for tea...gotta' get them there fields plowed!!!

Gooday again, Pandora,

THAT war, the so-called War of Independence - have you checked out Mel Gibson's most recent flick 'Patriot'? Actually, I think Al Pacino did something similar a few years ago, but I've forgotten the title. My favourite film on THAT war was called 'The Devil's Disciple', which (I think) featured Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas, with Olivier as a sympathetically-drawn British general or some such. Someone will probably tell me that I've got both the title and the actors wrong, but then again it's my memory and anyway, being wrong gives so much pleasure to so many people! Am I rambling more than usual this morning? Too much stale coffee. Take care,

Walter.

Hello mate! Good to see you up & about! I haven't seen a 'new' movie since the Disney (Phil Collins) version of Tarzan came out. I borrowed a friend & her two children to take to the Dirve-In movie with me...I think that was LAST Summer. Ooops, I did buy the DVD: The Sixth Sense, really good movie. The mind is in low gear...I'm camping in my woods...I've been watching the Great Blue Heron messing about their nest. They seem to have a young one there, but I haven't seen it fly? I'll keep an eye out for it. There's a place a couple towns over: God's Litter Critter's who will try to help all sorts of animals
should this one be in trouble.
*just stuck my head in, let the dog out & be outta' here before the old grump steps through the door*

Hi Pandora,

It sounds an interesting life.

I'm new to h2g2 and am just going around saying 'hi' to a few people - I've made one or two good friends online in the last year or so.

Oh that war! The one about the tea. Best thing to do with tea is to tip it into the sea. I don't know much about that one, it didn't feature in the English history syllabus. A lot of things I've learnt since didn't.
Maybe I should watch The Patriot and learn something. I don't know The Devil's Disciple either, can you be wrong about something easier, Walter, please .
You're overdoing the coffee, Pandora's out in the woods to get some sleep, Katsy's way out there over Skandal...what's this place coming to?

Gooday Wazungu,

I have spent a lifetime being wrong about almost everything, easy or complex, but it makes for interesting moments, and I have recently said elsewhere, being wrong gives other people so much pleasure when they correct you! Yes, I was ODing on stale coffee, but purged my system with a session at the local, and this morning have a blistering headache and the associated symptoms of over-indulgence. Take care,

Walter.

Welcome 2 (is it c v or o v? my eyes seem strained these past few days) So, you think my life interesting? That isn't the lable I would pick...but thank you. Now, how 'bout telling us something interesting about you?!?

Wazungu...LOL!!! Not The Boston Tea Party...that was about the high taxes on tea! Instead of pay the tax, the Americans dumped the whole lot into the harbor. (dislikes tea?!? that's just down right strange!!
) As our wise hungover Walter has said...the war of which I speak is the War of Independence, thus our 4th of July Holiday! Independence Day...I love it! You celebrate!!! However, you'll be arrested if caught with fireworks, shooting a gun within the corperation limits, and they best not catch you drinking out in the open! Ahhh! Independence...aint it grand??? I've come in from the rain...to get ready to work the phone line. I think if it had not started raining, I might have missed work & just continued sleeping. It is so peaceful
next to the river. The neighbor lady thinks I'm nuts...she SWEARS there's something really big in the woods! HA! Of course there is...I've seen them with my own eyes. Deer!!! LOL!!! One HUGE buck that everyone wants to kill...not in MY woods! And the buck seems to know it too. And there are fat racoon 40# or more...I feed them cat food & grapes! I also have a cute picture of a 'coon on the porch dunking an Oreo cookie into a bowl of milk in order to eat it! When My Golden Retriever was still with us, I'd look outside & she'd be laying on the ground with 4 or 5 deer standing around her! They would become nervous when I went out, but all I had to do was sing, very sweetly & they'd stay put! After she died they stayed on their path for several months. Just in the past couple weeks they've been coming 'round & staying for a song.
You know Walter, you've a healthy 'tude about being wrong Lord knows I eat my share of crow! Right here at h2g2! Oh how folks LOVE to point out mistakes...dosen't matter if it's a typo. But it's okay, makes for a good argument once in awhile!!! I don't mind a 'friendly' scrap! As per the movies...Mel dosen't do it for me...but Al!!! Now, there's an actor! And I must be deeply twisted, as my favorite actor (of all time) is Christaphor Walken!!! He usually plays evil, nasty roles...has anyone seen The Deer Hunter?!? If not, I highly recommed you run, do not walk to your nearest 'movie for hire' place & rent it!
I promise you will not leave the edge of your seat! Full of stars! A war movie & one of true friendship. Well, off I go to heal the World, I wish! Guess I'll just do it one call at a time

Hi Pandora,

It's 2cv (two see vee) - named after the famous little French car which, as one of my graetest friends once memorably described it, looks like an upside down pram (I think that's perambulator to you in the states).

I've just come back from yet another holiday in France (which I fell in love with on my first visit) and love everything about the place - particularly the food, good cheap wine and the laid-back rural lifestyle. Apart from waxing lyrical about France, nu other loves are messing about on computers, cycling, reading and walking (rambling).

Anyway, I've got to dash.

Hello 2 cv! That shall be very easy to remember, my first name is Valerie & my Maiden name began with 'C'. Thanks for your kindness, but I would have figured out the 'Pram' thing A friend of mine who lives in Crook County has been 'trying' to educate me with regard to English slangs & I've been doing the same with what tumbles out of mouths from the Western side of the Pond. I love to listen to her. She's found a way to call for free through her computer. I have an iMAC & hardly anything I can find will support it. At least twice weekly I e-mail places that Mac cannot enter & let them know they are losing business, the squeeking wheel etc....Macs are the 'puter of the future. The way my life goes...just as Macs become the MUST have box of plastic, mine will be so old, everyone will ask, "Where on Earth did you find THAT thing?!?" LOL!!! I need some real sleep now. The hammock is fun, but not on work nights. My body's cravn' satin! I've washed the smoke off myself & out of my hair. Flipped around h2g2 quickly...made a bit of dinner, to be re-heated as necessary & now I command myself to GO TO SLEEP! (I hate when that happens-the not being able to sleep)

Your woods sound glorious, but are you sure there's nothing REALLY big out there? I'd be overjoyed to see a hedgehog in the garden. There are badgers about which is something, and foxes, rabbits and squirrels.
No taxation without representation. That's the tea party war, right? But the 4th July one was different. And you won them both. Talk about being wrong! - I hope Walter of the Hangover appreciates it .
I thought you could do anything in America. We have to tell the police about firework displays but you just leave a message on their answering machine five minutes before you start, so its no trouble!
I've seen the Deer Hunter but only on TV and not when I could appreciate it. I think they showed it at Christmas and it wasn't possible to get into it, having family around.

I hope you got to sleep Pandora, are you still on nights? How long does that go on for?

Hi 2cv, and they do look like prams.

I've a ground hog that weighs in at about 40#!!! I put a few extra log pieces from the cabin around three sides of his hole so nobody will fall & break a leg, or a ground hog I call him Caddyshack! There are elk two roads over I guess some could have gotten into the woods, but I think it's just the 9 point buck. He's a BIG guy!!! And if there are any wild cats they would stay away from me & if there are bear, they would most likely be black bear & also stay away. Man is the only animal who's ever given me trouble in the woods! I've had men come right into the camp ground & ask if this was my land & if not, to get out! HA! "No!", I tell them,"I always hang hammocks, pitch tents & build fires on land I don't own!" By then my gun is drawn & they are leaving out he way they came...through the brambles! I'm a mean one! Two Summers ago we found where some boy was growing pot in buckets on an island in our wet land. We had a flood...the one that happens about every fifty years back there. Well, it washed away his goodies. And all the biting insects were in a frenzy. I watched this kid stumble in the dark, drop his flashlight & fall down a 30' embankment into the river! "Oww, ouch, damn! etc." Ass over tittleberry all the way to the bottom. Then the long treck through the thorns to where his plants USE to be!
You could hear him smackn' himself as the bugs chewed on him! LOL!!! I
normally would have shot the gun to chase him off. But I thought this might teach him a better lesson! Oh, it was too funny!

Hey Pandora I got that e-mail about the little boy who sung to his baby sister! That was sooooo sweet!

I'm off to London tomorrow so you probably won't see me online then, then Monday I'm babysitting some kids who a friend of mine has advised me to be warey of as he said him and his sister have had bad experiences babysitting them, so I'm hoping I survive!!!!

Sorry about me going mad over Skandal! I just can't help it! Especially as they seem to be appearing in just about every teen mag in the UK at the moment! Now hopefully I won't have all these people saying "who the hell are they I've never heard of them!"

Evening Pandora,
As I said , your woods sound glorious, and elks, bears and wetlands as well. Not to mention the human wildlife. How much space do you have there? And how are the Blue Herons? I love our wetland birds, curlew and all the waders, their calls say wide open spaces, empty beaches, wild places. Our wetlands here are river estuaries, mud flats, reed beds -all open spaces, not within woods.

BTW I was checking on the RSVP forum and picked up something you said about words & the use of them having psychological meaning. I was curious about what you meant by that. I'm conscious of choosing words to make an image or atmosphere sometimes, but not of anything beyond that.

BTW2 Bank Holidays - Days the Govt. declares we must have a holiday on. Unless you're an "essential worker" or your employer offers you triple pay, in which case you get another day off instead. We have eight a year including Christmas Day, New Year, Boxing Day, and Good Friday. That's all I know - no idea really why "Bank". Except that the Banks close, but then they close every weekend, and earlier than anyone else during the week so I don't know why they picked on them.

Traditionally the August Bank is the one where the entire population of England packs itself into charabancs (called coaches on any other day), ties notted handkerchiefs on their heads and goes to the seaside. There they roll up their trousers, tuck their skirts into their nicker elastic and paddle while eating ice cream cones. Then they go for a donkey ride and back home singing old songs in the back of the bus.
The up to date version of this involves cars, traffic jams and motorways.

Now I have to get some washing done, promised my mother she could borrow my machine from tomorrow, and I need something clean to go on holiday with!