h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hope you served yourself
I was/am getting shut of a "chill" I caught on Saturday

Thank you, I served myself.
I am sorry to hear that you've not been feeling well. Here is a bowl of chicken broth with lots of garlic and a whole turnip that's been previously sliced and cooked.

Scotch whisky with sprigs of rosemary and a dollup of honey.

Thanks!

Offers on at "The Bar" over the season are:-

Drinks are free, whatever concoctions you have/ or want and no limits to how many!!

BUT! Take note ok!!! WE ARE NOT A CHARITY!!!

Therefore--get your own aspirin or paracetamols for any hangovers

Notice to all Patrons!

This bar will ALWAY'S have the heating on in winter months!

We don't pay anything, to any electricity/gas company for our heating/lighting etc!

Have a drink in a warm and friendly atmosphere all year round!!!!

mmmh! Must try new tactics to get customers in ?

Free snuff and peanuts on the bar don't seem to work

Gluten-free food and gluten-free drinks.

Whatever the needs of our patrons who pop in here, it's available in THIS bar/pub

Hello Prof, I would like to have a pint of gluten-free beer and a gluten-free burger with salad.

Kat! Your wish is granted love

The bars various pumps and the chef in the kitchen will accommodate your requirements

PS! Pull your own ale etc

I'm having a sit down for a while

OK! So "our" staff in the Bar are excellent!

Table 3 has a dirty ashtray on it

WE have to keep standards high!

Good morning Prof, please can I have an iced and with proper corn ?

Kat! You can ask for anything sweetheart!

If I could grant it! You'd get it

Friendship means more than words can be written

Thanks, Prof. I hope you don't have hayfever, as I have hayfever symptoms.

Kat! Alas Through a self process of elimination, I've found I've a sort of allergy to "rapeseed" ?

These plants give off oil "fumes" for most of the year
And I have a runny nose for ages

IF I go out of an area of rapeseed "farms" I don't have any symptoms

My left blocked nostril is still blocked and I don't know the cause. It is mainly caused by dry skin. There are no rapeseed fields in Thurrock.

You'll have to try a process of elimination etc ? Try walking in different areas around where you live ? to see if any changes occur ?

Allergies are and finding the cause is a "bummer"

It was not due to my late cat Simba, it is not caused by pollen but it could be due to my chronic dry skin condition that I have had since the age of 5 and it has spread to the inside of my nostrils.

Has your local doc' any answers to the cause ???

No, I have had tests all showing my sinuses are clear.