h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a mess! Oh what froth,
I must wash it all off

The drain is blocked with this green mess,
T'was all my fault, I must confess.

The sink is filled with goo and muck,
I tried to clean it; now I'm stuck.

so lonely..


How can I express love, when I have no feeling?
How can I show hatred? When non exists in my heart
How I wish I could give warmth when I feel only cold
How can I be within a group, when senses only see loneliness?
How am I solitary, while in a crowd?
How do I exist, with no memory of my creation?
How people walk by, without even a glance
How no one stops to talk about the weather
How can I shine, when my colour is grey?
How the child spits at my feet, while the parent stands by
How much I want to cry, but don’t have the tears
How I would feel, if one person showed affection
How things could be different if I had life
How all my wishes always go unheard?
How much I want to be of mankind
How I wish I wasn’t a lonely statue

My Small Piece of Arden



I awake and see from my bedroom window
The joys of nature she chooses to bestow
The forest of trees at the end of my garden
I feel I have stolen a small piece of Arden

The birds and the bees and the cat as she flees
The birds singing safe way up in the trees
The fox and her cubs hiding out in the shrubs
The snails eating all that I have in my tubs

The spiders spin webs all crisscrossing my path
The hedgehog is under my old upturned bath
The Martins and brood nesting up in the eves
And more songsters hid well up in the leaves

The cat chases mice out into the field
Where some bird of prey needs more life to yield
She’s way up but scanning the life on the ground
Looking for suitable prey to be found

The fish swim lazily in their own small world
Waiting for flies which they take with a swirl
The birds come to drink in my own garden pond
And fly off safe in the full rush of song

The cat has some fun chasing then away
But she’s too fat and lazy to have much of a say
She comes in for her meal and gives me a cry
It’s time to be up, for she wont let me lie

A small piece of nature it has to be said
Is what I can see from my lazy old bed
A joy to behold is my small piece of Arden
I’m glad that I’ve got this wonderful garden

Gosh! I wish I had a garden now.

I do have a garden but that was for the next one!!

Well let's hope it's as nice as I think it will be!!

I move in two weeks so I'll let you know

I hope the move goes smoothly.

MC, you have been quiet lately with the verse

Oh yes, I know,
But verse won't flow.
What can I do,
I feel so blue.
I sit and sigh,
And watch the fly.
Fly lands on nose.
I strike a pose.
My eyes converge,
My arms spread out.
My leg I raise,
And fall and graze
My knee on floor.
Fly flies out door.
Again I sit
So ends the fit.

Oh the stress and the pace
Of moving with grace
The slip and a fall to the floor
The quick-footed movement
Of mental improvement
As I bang my head on the door

I stop just by chance
Receiving only a glance
A big round lump the result
A bruise on my shoulder
My god I feel older
Battered from all the tumult

A graze on my hand
I receive from the jam
My knuckles turning quite blue
I curse and I growl
As I let out a yowl
And the air takes on a nice hue

I’ve been here before
Trying to get through this door
With a box that’s too big to go through
It’s time for a tea
As I’m nursing my knee
And I’m thinking of what a to do




It hasn't happened yet but it's bound to

ouch before the fall

Where is Everyone?


Greetings Unknown Hiker
Do not despair
We also have a 501
or a 502 to share


There are many others
"Cannot display this page"
It is said so often that
Hootoo war may be waged!


Now we have a new one
"Server too busy"
Is Jimster feeding the
Ham(p)sters something fizzy?


I will promise this my
good friends on hootoo
to keep clicking "refresh"
until I get back to you

I have a number of friends in hootoo and RL that this could relate to. If you think you are one, please know there are people who really care for you too


A Friend In Need...



You cry in your despair.
You call out for someone
to come to your aid.
For someone to just care.

Yet you have your pride.
You laugh and joke.
Putting your worries
all to one side.

You should know, we all care,
when you call out for someone
to come to your aid.
When you cry in your despair.

this post is for lurkers:- This thread is for everyone and not "against" anyone, all are welcome to add poem or verse

*still lurking*

use your own judgement, not others, you'll find it works well


I hear lots of stories about friendships gone bad
where people listen to wrong advice,how life can be sad
I see it about me in all walks of life
just good friends, or man and his wife
I let it go in one ear and out of the other
I choose my friends, without help from me mother
there's only one person who will put me off YOU
only one on the planet and I bet YOU know who





it don't take a genius, true friends don't s***stir

Manimal - Karen was wanting to talk to youF1977358?thread=1185399

printed by kind permission of Serenity...thank you!



Trojan wars or Virus attack


The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,' 'Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!