h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ace'll have to look it up>>shuffles along

Why did no one play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was sitting on the deck.

deuce you expect me to believe thathave a heart

I didn't do it. Club me with a spade if I did

what! and lose the map to the diamonds

I've got to hand it to you, in this full house it's hot and I feel a flush coming on.

I'm gonna be straight with you. It may be a flush but it aint royal

I'm running in the Olympics against a pack of cardsthe deckathlon

Is that what they call running in the family?

only if dealt a bad hand - for the pole vaulting

Should i assume pole position now?

I'm getting hungry thinking about that exercise.
Think I'll go have some polenta.

sailors play cardsthey always have hands on deck

Oh aye, they are very hands on

I saw one with wings, it was a flight deck

A card shark loved donuts and always had his ace in the hole.

A family joker is jest having fun with his elations.

'I missed the card game,' he said wistfully. But he was the most dishonest and cleverest card shark in the city, the police said he will be dealt with.

whist'll go for a walk

I hope it's not a bored walk