h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A thermometer making company manager was a hot head who sometimes boiled over.

Inside a hot dog factory you never sausage a sight before.

Some of us are like potatoes: thick skinned but soft inside when warmed.

I'm going to be discussing global warming next week, it's quite a heated topic.

I'll say! The poeple who tend to dispute get boiling mad.

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

We can't get a quorum for our Weight Watchers Club because all the participants get a weigh.

the Kurds have a whey

The angry ice cube boiled with anger, then let off some steam.

Molecules boiling points vary to some degree.

A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm staph.'

An optometrist told his patient: 'It appears your vision is improving!' 'Really?' replied the patient. 'Must be the luck of the iris.'

The plastic surgeon put his patient's nose to the grindstone.

My wife is trying to lose weight but continues to frequent the coffee shops for rich beverages and delicacies. You could say she is making a moccary of her diet.

Sign at a place where you lose weight: 'Stop Look and Lessen'.

Cottage cheese diet: eating your curds and weigh.

Those who sell scales in shady deals don't want to give anything a weigh.

Why do dragons stay so slim?

Because they weigh themselves daily. They have plenty of scales.

Oh but they have little talont and are just full of hot air.