h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tailors needle little something to catch the thread of a conversation.

A tailor has a vest-ed interest in sewing up a profit.

If you can't find anyone to sing with you have to duet yourself.

If you sing while playing baseball, you won't get a good pitch.

Did you hear about the soprano who sailed on the high C's in a glass boat? She made the mistake of hitting a high notei n the bar, and all the glass shattered. They all ended up well below C-level.

All I could C was a Soprano hitting somebody with a glass

I'm trying to stave all of this off! If I can't, I'll have to resort to jumping off the nearest cleff.

a tenor you don't

I can C food down there, let's go eat

can Mac err! Al come as well

We were touring an olf French mansion. Our guides were two mimes. When we came to a spot where the corridor divided, both mimes turned left.

"Wait," my wife said. "Shouldn't we go right?"

The mimes shook their heads.

"We should trust their judgment," I said. "Great mimes think alike."

When writing music for some instruments it is hard to piccolo note.

Some soloists are so bad they should sing tenor twelve miles away.

A pop singer bought a new house for a song.

I wanted to be a clarinettist but I couldn't reed music.

Accordian to my music instructor and his staff, squeezing in more rehearsal time is key to my success.

We asked our tailor to join the choir.

"What makes you think I can read music?" he said.

"Well, you're good with a measure and we often see you at the bar."

I heard it through the grapevineI get funny looks walking with one on my ear

Were you with your usual bunch? I do hope you didn't commit mass grape!

Your orgies are probably divine.