h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In Hawaii, holiday obsurfances are in full swing.

I had a wee dock and doris with my Doris at one of the pubs in the East India Docks in London which was run by Can-ny Ken who for a laugh would get on the bar counter and dance the Can Can and displays of Ken-do.

was it a hickory daiquiri, dock?

somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a - can't I just have one from the counter?

I hope I don't weigh up high when I see the doctor tomorrow.

if he says your a bit porky, he might hang you up to be cured

cured and well hung? what more could you ask for this xmas?

What more could I ask? I ask that I not be an edible animals.

The dessert chef was very smart and boasted that making torte a was a piece of cake. He had graduated Pie Baker Kappa.

The desert chef tarted himself up a bit, as he was a trifle uncouth

the dessert chef baked a sand cake and served it to a tart

A skier who loses a race on a cold day will have a frosty disposition.

The stressed out snowman was acting flaky. That was, until he had a meltdown. And finally he was indicted for having a slush fund.

There's snow need for a meltdown, nor frost to get all in a dither.

The audience kicked up a storm when Storm stormed into the barn part of her barnstorming act even their compliments only mounted to a storm in a teacup.

Our next singer is Ty Phoon, who will regale you with "Stormy Weather," whether you want to hear it or not.

Soo Chong Lap sang, Pekoe Boo to the kids. It's in the bag and what a re-leaf that is!

i heard about lap dance, but the song was new to me

Dancers that dance in front of their lap-top computers and record it on their webcams, do a lap of honour as they lap up all their praise and adulation of their creative talents.

tap dancers can't have insurance cover, they are at high risk for falling off