h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mildred Millwright who was more than the usual run of the mill Millwright as she was know for her avant-garde windmills which she designed and built to order.

Dornier know ? but Zeppelin might

I couldn't use my bicycle because it was too tired [two-tired]

Cecil B DeMille's son was so mediocre that his nickname was Run Of.

I read today that Heston Blumenthal bubbled nitrous oxide through his gravy, and now he's a laughing stock.

I think they should pass a law requiring that oxides be yoked.

you shouldn't pork fun at defenceless animals, wait while they get "a fence" (offence)

If the animals are big enough and mean enough, I'd like to get over defence before they reach me.

The farmers of the village of Stock, who have well stocked larders full of home produce and where their livestock are very well looked after and fed by using only the best organic produce.

I buy celery at the stalk market

My attempt to start a street market selling produce from the local Essex and Kent orchards proved to be fruitile.

Picket the bowtruckle was very picky with his food and would only eat the freshest of fairy eggs. He was very popular and would give a bow when he did demonstrated the way he picked locks.

Arney avoided County Kerry. He worried that we wouldn't get out of Killarney alive.

I was watching a TV movie recently, dramatizing the saga of Billy the Kid and the Lincoln County (New Mexico) "War", featuring a cast of performers who were at the time the film was originally made new to the western movies genre, epic entitled: "The YoungG 'uns".

Even Carl was Jung once.

Carl say gar and stop saying haddock!

The jealous swine told his brother: don't hog that sow!

Looks like one of them is sty-mied.

The butcher with leftover bits of carcasses was struggling to make ends meat. I never sausage effort, it was offally hard work. Except for oxtails, I do not like most offal because it tastes offal.

Rather than get dismissed at the borscht factory, I beet them to it by telling them to take their job and schav it.