h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why did the tomato get embarrassed?
...because it saw the chick pea

I'm sure it had bean a long time since that happened.

I'm shouting into an envelope, I'm sending a voice mail

If you're sending a femail, chances are no one will be listening.

An fanatical stamp collector was talking to a former stamp collector about the hobby. "I can't believe you gave it up! You were the best stamp collector ever."
His friend replied "Philately will get you nowhere."

“You can expect this pugilist to deliver on any sort of day,” said the trainer. “Mark will stamp out any competitor, you don’t have to wait.” he continued, “He really knows how to box.”

When I accidentally Fed-exed myself, I was very much a freight of the consequences.

Anyone who licks an envelope is into mail bondage.

Anyone who licks an envelope is into mail bondage.

Sorry for the double post

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Frank sent out mail which was going to be sent to Frankfurt to the company's mail room to be franked.

If you send a letter to the Philippines put it in a Manila envelope.

In my will I've requested that envelopes be sent out full of chick-pea paste. It'll be done posthumously.

Issue of first day cover almost ended in a stamp-ede.

A letter carrier career is a mail dominated profession.

Stationery store employees formed a musical group called the Elastic Band.

Every so often train conductors have to go away for re-training.

On the old trains the engineer had a lot of e-steam.

When he switched from horses to sailing, his life took on a new tack.

The Inland Revenue Service left a message on my mobile phone that I owed them more money. It was a taxed message.