h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Dirten smites the monster a terrible blow*

[Monster] [getting hit by comets] Ow! Oof! Argh! Umps! Ack! Ugh!

[The monster is smote a terrible blow.]

[Monster] ... What!? What's THAT supposed to mean!?

[Beats me. Ask Ralph, he's the one who did it.]

[Monster] ... Whatever!! [throws a large sphere of lightning at Dirten]

[Gandark] Well if it worked once ...
*Gandark casts Comet again*
Nerd42

*Dirten dodges the attack and swings at the monster again*

for a second I thought you thought I'd cast Comet on you!

[Wist]
*Escapes the fire ball with only a minor singe-ing, and a slight stutter and spikey hair from some random lightning.*

Ri.gh.t.t., that does it.

*throws a couple of slighlty melted/runny knives at eh monster, then hides behind a convenient pillar.*

[Eric]Almond! You knew all along?!?! Why did you bother making us get all the keys?

[Gandark] Don't bother answering that one *casts Bolt*
Nerd42

*Dirten dodges behind a pillar*

*tries to double or triple the strength of that last spell*
Nerd42

[Armond] We still need the keys! ... Hang on, he's using lightning attacks!

[The monster launches another barrage]

[Armond] Water beats lightning on the elemental wheel, right?

*Gandark casts Ice on the monster - again!*
Nerd42

[Gandark] wait a second ... we need to pay attention here. *perks up his pointy ears* if this was all a hoax, why do you still need the keys? I thought when I signed on we were supposed to get rich at the end of this quest ... ... hey wait a second, I only signed on cause I've lost my memory and don't have anything better to do. OK, never mind!
*plunges back into the fray*
Nerd42

[Monster] [shrugging off the attacks] Um ... Yeah! That's right! You, uh, DON'T need the keys! In fact, they, um ... um ... smeg it, where's a good not-flagrantly-false excuse when you need one?

[Armond] How's that for an answer?

[Wist]
*Pulls his cloak about him and sneaks through the shadows trying to get behind the monster*

[Wist]
*Rushes forward from behind and dives onto the monsters back. Wraps an arm around its neck and tries to slit its throat*

[Gandark] Well, hurry up! I can't cast while you're doing that!
this is getting silly
Nerd42

*charges forward to swing at the mosnter again*

[Monster] [flying around with Wist on its back] Auugh! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!! [crashes into a pillar]