h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*N'kai dives in, ducking under the Orc's axe. He moves in a blur, too fast for human eyes to follow. He stops behind the Orc. The creature collapses, a long deep gash in its axe-arm. The Orc roars in pain and fury, swinging with all his might at N'kai. N'kai blocks it, his blade cutting halfway through the giant axe, but the Orc punches him hard in the chest, smashing him to the floor.*
[Big Orc] So long, pointy-ears!
*He stabs at N'kai with a long dagger, but N'kai moves first. In an instant his hands are around the Orc's throat, knocking him over. They both roll, the Orc pinning N'kai down, but leaving him within reach of his sword...
...There is a silken sound, the strangely solid noise of heavy liquid being splattered, and the Orc's head rolls off his shoulders.*
[N'kai] Ha! Useless Orc!
*Begins to struggle out from under the 600lb Orc corpse.*

*Deuce catches the orc between her teeth and lifts it away. She picks over the corpse distastefully before finding what she is looking for. It is a large flask.*

[Deuce] Spirits... now my flame will indeed burn bright!

*Deuce drinks the contents of the flask and gently blows out a flame. The flame is about two foot long, and blue-tinged.*

*Deuce catches the orc between her teeth and lifts it away. She picks over the corpse distastefully before finding what she is looking for. It is a large flask.*

[Deuce] Spirits... now my flame will indeed burn bright!

*Deuce drinks the contents of the flask, and flames gently. The flame is about three feet long, and blue-tinged.*

Whoops, sorry. Browser crashed.

[N'kai] *Laughs evily* Is this all you've got! You /dare/ bring about my wrath and not have strength enough to challenge it!? So will pay dearly for this!!!
*Sprints down the corridor, and disappears from sight.*

Don't worry, N'kai'll turn up again soon.

N'Kai, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your singlehanded battle. It isn't nice to solve entire problems I've gone to the trouble of creating in one post. That is a one-post solution, which is against the rules, which you'd know if you'd bothered to look at the Laws of Continuity page referenced on the main ... page. And anyway, the orc's MY character, so YOU don't establish his dialogue, actions, whether he gets hit by your attacks, or his death. Don't do it again. We last left off with Mekhuzar charging at N'kai.

Possible solution: What normally happens when the hero charges off to face everything on his own?
one word: Re-inforcements.
We'll simply have N'kai come back with some more opponents.
Assume then that N'kai has fought against a champion, and has encountered more Orcs, with Mekhuzar at the lead. The Orcs are probably smart enough by now to bog N'kai down with weight of numbers, and since they've lost one captain to him, Mekhuzar won't go near him unless he has no choice...
How's that?

I said, WE LAST LEFT OFF WITH MEKHUZAR CHARGING AT N'KAI.

Okay then...

*The two warriors lock blades. N'kai was tutored by royalty, his skills honed to perfection by centuries of battle. However, none of his training was meant to be used when locked with an orc over twice as strong as him.*
[N'kai] Damn you greenskin! Just gimmie an inch...
*N'kai swings around with a dagger, digging into the orc's chest. The blade catches on its armour.*
[N'kai] What... No!
*N'kai rolls backwards, evading the Orc's attacks until he can get back on his feet.*

[Mekhuzar turns his attention to Lizzie, and swings his axe at her.]

[N'kai] Lizzy! Look out!
*Dives at the Orc, taking an Axe-blow to the chest to allow Lizzy to escape.*
[N'kai] Gah! Just you wait...
*N'kai collapses, gasps once, and doesn't get up again...*

*lizzy ducks and escapes out of the orc's range*

*looks round*

N'kai!!!!! *charges at the orc, sword raised* take this you

[N'kai] I... Can't.... It can't end like this...
*Pulls himself slowly to his feet, draws his sword, and prepares to attack the Orc again...*

[Mekhuzar laughs manically, raises his axe to execute a powerful attack -- as well as Lizzie -- and gets hit by Ribald.]

[Mekhuzar] Damn! Three to one! That's no fair! [swinging at Ribald and missing] Actually, given that I'm as strong as three humans and an elf, it IS fair! [tryies to hit Lizzie with his axe]

[N'kai] *Spits into the Orc's eye.* Ha! You guys are all talk! Face me if you dare!

[Mekhuzar] Sure! [swings his axe at N'kai]

[lizzy] *swings sword at Mekhuzar while he is being distracted by N'kai*

*Swings up, hitting the Orc's descending axe so hard the blade is almost sliced in half. N'kai rolls away, leaving Mekhuzar gazing at the slice in his axe...*
[N'kai] *In a sarcastic voice* They don't make weapons like they used to do they?

[Mekhuzar gets hit by Lizzie and tries to kick her across the room. He next turns the axe around, revealing the undamaged side. He incants a few words and the damage is repaired.]

[Mekhuzar] Nope, they don't, do they? [tries to swing and hit everyone at once]

[N'kai] Hmm... Good in battle and magic. You must be a Warlord...
Ribald! Cover me! I have a plan...
*Runs over to Lampwick, who is carrying N'kai's supplies (N'kai put it on his back without him noticing when they first met). He pulls out a black box of obsidian, and begins to read through an ancient book.*
[N'kai] Hmm... Where is it... Doom... Petrify... Flare... Death Mist... Aha! Void gate! Let's send that Orc into oblivion!
*Begins the incantations to open a portal to the X-Zone...*