h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK. Here's the goal, to write the longest nonsense ballad ever. Anything goes subjectwise. But. We must maintain ballad form. Four-line verses, second and fourth lines rhyming. First and third lines eight syllables ( or four stressed beats ) second and fourth lines six syllables ( or three stressed beats ) Occasionally, the third line can have an internal rhyme, e.g. "I felt no gain despite the pain..."

So, here goes:-

The Ballad of Grimly Moer

Yon robin sitting on a branch
Looked with an evil eye

Surveying the entire ranch,
and spotted a beetle pie.

He swiftly flew down to the spot
And boldly cocked his head

A hidden fox came at a trot
and on the robin fed

"You've swallowed me, " the robin said
"But I'll not stay for dinner,

and tickled foxies oesophagus
in an attempt to make him thinner.

A bark, a cough, the bird was free!
and fox was most upset

The robin, glistening in a coat of drool,
had foxies appetite whet.

He looked upon the beetle pie
But thought he'd rather not

Young Reynard with his slavering jaws
Ate the beetle pie instead.

You see the Cheery Dragon said
To busy bee Teaswill
If topic drift dont get you first
The simulposting will

So whose couplet are we going with?

It matters not for after all
It's nonsense isn't it?
Besides the plot's already lost
For Robin was a tit

Too fast, too fast, so quickly past,
Who says there was a plot?

And thus the plot ran far away,
And thoughts of it were lost.

They searched on high, they searched on low
Who are "They"? Who knows?

Who cares! The crocodile remarked,
Calmly awaking from his doze,

He flossed his teeth with jungle vine
and frightened all the fish

Except for one that shouted out
"This fish will grant one wish"

"Just one?" the crafty croc remarked
whilst raising his eyebrow