h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes Bob, that was part of the problem.

However the last retail place that I almost enjoyed working at, was (in part)largely unencumbered by the current requirement to lick the customer's behind or otherwise cow down to them; it was an independent wholesaler's who sold to councils the public sector but also had a trade counter. Because 99% of our business was to the trade, I could be quite abusive and dismissive of the 1% of customers who darkened our trade counter

Power balance was firmly in my favour; we were doing the trade counter customer a favour by serving them and giving them trade prices and we really didn't need their business

Ah, those were the days. Doubt I'll ever again have a job where I can be rude to annoying people and get away with it

Become a traffic warden or a border guard

I once had a job where customer relations did not exist at all, in fact the only arbiter was the UN. Great you could realy relax, lovely

"The law reforms giving the customer the upper hand in the most trivial disputes makes working in retail similar to working as an NHS hospital receptionist." [bobstafford]

Customer service can be grueling. Frankly, I think it's not for the faint of heart.

Customer service is a myth.

I preferred customer disservice when I was on the wrong side of the counter. However as a customer my expectations are high

Certainly I'm more critical of poor customer service than many who have not worked in retail, because I know how it should be done properly having done it that way myself (when I worked in less relaxed retail surroundings).

"Customer service is a myth." [Icy North]

Perhaps you've never encountered it. I assure you that its out there somewhere. I remember looking for a set of sheets. I remembered its name, but I was mixed up about which store had it. I asked in the wrong store, but the sales clerk knew where I would find it. Bless her! She really knew her way around. I will always think kindly of her.

What are those careers you can switch to, without studying for 3-5 years?

Careers that you don't have to study 3 to 5 years for:

1. shepherd
2. hobo
3. felon
4. crown prince
5. celebrity offspring
6. heir to a family fortune
7. reality show star
8. Congressional widow who gets elected to her late husband's seat
9. mistress to a king or president or mob head
10. gardener
11. laundress
12. Mommy
13. head of a union local
14. gang leader
15. Mob head
16. milkmaid
17. the oldest profession
18. apple picker
19. stamp collector
20. butterfly collector
21. taste tester
22. pencil-necked geek
23. bearded lady
24. circus fat man or lady
25. Muse

You missed village idiot

Being a disabled person ("idiot") isn't a career - it was reported recently that many disabled people with learning disabilities are being paid less than the minimum wage because of the job schemes they are put on, and if they are deemed eligible for welfare instead then they become pawns in the government's games...

Would that I could be paid for being a stamp collector, too... I know stamp dealers can sometimes make a living, but many others don't...

I am an administrator, which is quite transferable to different sectors, but I also wonder how to make a career rather than just making sideways moves... I don't mind admin, though, as I like having a job and also hobbies rather than my job being all I do.

I *am* a pencil-necked geek. Where is my paycheck?

"Anyone else get this easily bored?"
YEP! when brunel goes down AGAIN! it's going back to beeb weekend nights - crash out
so what's new ????

Some of those jobs are too much like hard work. I don't fancy being a fruit picker. Others I don't have the right family for, like crown prince. (We do have quite a proud family history of, err, "felons" though, but I'm allergic to being locked in a wee room and getting my keek kicked in...)

Hobo I could do, and do quite happily if only it paid a bit better.

Laundress...no way. They see things that would turn my stomach.

Of the bunch, I think I'd go with "muse". I want to be someone's Maud Gonne.

"I *am* a pencil-necked geek. Where is my paycheck?" [Xanatic]

It's in the office behind the elephant cage and around the corner from the egress.

Sorry, Sasha - how do you get from "idiot" to it being about mental health?

I'm wondering gently, because it seems to me if you can't call people who do stupid things an idiot, how are they supposed to know?

People who were called "the village idiot" in the past were generally disabled people, so a lot of disabled people these days dislike the use of the term "idiot" as an insult (there was a whole catalogue of medical terms that were used to describe degrees of learning disability and they have now pretty much all become insults...)

Kind of like how people are calling things "gay" these days, which has the implication that gay people are somehow wrong rather than just different...

Calling something "gay" is plain wrong and I call people on that.

Calling someone an idiot isn't really a slur on people with mental health issues in the same way, though, is it?

I get not using specific words that have been used in the past, but even I, PC as I am, think that equating idiot with a slur on people with mental health issues is a stretch.

There will always be people who despise others who are different from themselves. They often try to hide behind the language they use, and as a result, that vocabulary changes quickly. It's better to examine people's motives and actions rather than their language in this respect.

As a medical category, Idiots had IQs from 0 to 25, Imbeciles 26 to 50, and Morons 51 to 70. These were not mental health categories, but intelligence ones.

For what it's worth, how people use their intelligence matters a lot. You don't need an extremely high IQ in order to get a PhD. Willingness to submit to the long, grueling course of study counts for quite a lot. Judgment matters, too. People who know their limitations and can exercise self-restraint when necessary have a lot going for them. Having rich, smart, generous friends doesn't hurt, wither.