h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There are many English folk songs about the cuckoo.

We had to sing one at school which was a load of rubbish. I think about this every spring as I cycle to work. (Expecting to hear the monotonous call any day now...)

"The cuckoo is a pretty bird". No. It's not, it's grey and ugly. Beautiful inasfar as any work of nature is beautiful, but "pretty"? No.

"She singeth as she flies". As far as I know, it doesn't. It sits on a branch and yells CUCKOO till some female comes along. And it's the males that do the calling, anyway.

"She bringeth us good tidings" - Well, I'll give them that one. The nights are getting shorter, the weather's getting warmer. But it's NOT a SHE!!!!

"She telleth us no lies". Oh yeah, like they don't usurp other birds' nests and generally cheat and deceive those smaller and weaker than themselves?

"She sucketh pretty flowers" - I don't think they do. According to Wiki, they are partial to insects and insect larvae.

"To keep her throttle clear" - Well, they don't suck flowers, so their throttles are kept clear by a generally healthy lifestyle and a diet of insects, apparently. A cuckoo with a frog in its throat isn't going to be able to join in the mating fun, get a mate, reproduce, or achieve fame by having someone write to the Times or phone the radio to announce that they've heard it.

"And every time she singeth: "Cuckoo, Cuckoo", the summer draweth near." I'd hardly call it singing. And I don't think they have THAT much influence on the weather. The calendar might tell you it's summer, but nice sunny days and picnics in the meadow are not guaranteed.

And cuckoo clocks originate from the Black Forest (just down the road from us). The Swiss know that, but as perfectionist clock-makers, they elbowed in on the franchise, with some justification.

The words I knew differ slightly.

The cuckoo is a merry bird.
She sings as she flies.
She brings us glad tidings
And tells us no lies.
She sucks little birds eggs
To make her voice clear

I can't remember the last line, but I know it differed from TC's.

"Oh, I went down to Peter’s flowing spring
Where the water’s so good
And I heard, there, a cuckoo
As he called from the wood
Ho li a keekee,
Ho li a cuckoo cuckoo."

This was originally a German folk song. Sadly, it is not on youtube. However, you can read the piano accompaniment here, on page 16:

http://www.ardrosshouse.com/singandplay/pdf_wav/spa_words_piano_cd.pdf