h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, yes. The common stinkhorn.

oh dear... brings back memorys of a very entheuseiastic micologist who gave us lectures on fungi one semester... It really was the most boring thing I ever studied nice in a risotto though or veg noodles or a biriani

I don't think you'd want to eat a stinkhorn in a risotto. They're...stinky. However I believe they can be eaten before they reach full tumescence when they resemble not a phallus but a gelatinous testicle.

And it must've been a brave person who found that out.

It must have been a brave person who found out that any* mushrooms were edible! You'd Think after the first few people died painful deaths from eating the poisenous ones the rest would have taken the hint

mmmmm.... gelatinous testicle.... sounds tasty...

Very few mushrooms are seriously poisonous. Most are merely inedible. And some make you fly.

Siberian shaman fed their reindeer Fly Agaric - the reindeer kidneys got rid of the nasty toxins and the shaman drank the mescalin infused reindeer urine which took them on "spirit journeys" which started with an intense feeling of flying. The shaman were old men with grewat white beards who who wore the holy colours of the mushroom - red with a white trim.

When Russia conquered Siberia the Russian Orthodox church went to work converting the Siberians and as happened elsewhere pagan imagery was subverted and incorporated into Christian iconography and the image of the shaman became that of jolly old Saint Nicholas.

Wellllll...that's one of many versions of where he comes from.

I can´t resist to link this:
MUSHROOMS
RUSSIA AND HISTORY

http://www.newalexandria.org/archive/MUSHROOMS%20RUSSIA%20AND%20HISTORY%20Volume%201.pdf

The second volume is also in the New Alexandria web page.

( In Amazon it costs $5000)

It contains plates too) It´s a curious work on mycology, etnography, language,religion, first hand experiences...

I've had some really weird experiences on and in mushrooms... like the time I got airlifted off a large flat top mushroom by the Canadian Airforce... or the time I got lost trying to find the lavatory inside a small button mushrooms... I would say what happened the day I got invited to the oyster mushroom, or the shatakki mushroom... but... well.. you know...
Mind, I've had some pretty weird experiences in onions too, and aubergines... well... really... I mean...

Does wearing an eye mask count as safe sex?

how naughty you are boy!


<<Does wearing an eye mask count as safe sex?<<

It depends on the fabric of the mask.

celulose, ok.

leather... I have some doubts about it. I mean, if the cow is killed for the meat, it would be re-cycling the skin. But if the animal is killed to USE the skin... in that case, the mask wouldn´t be much eco-friendly.

Though... there´s a bit of limbo in terms of eco-frienship in the case of whips made with the penis of pigs.

Have you ever seen one of them? They look like screws,

I see now... you said "safe sex"...

hmm... it depends on what eye you mean, if it´s the third one, then, no.

It's the one that winks at him in the morning.

Don't they all do that?

Pigs peni are weird shaped? oh. that. explains. the dildo I saw being sold the other day. Really, all this sociological research I feel bound to do, takes one to some rather strange web-sites...

I'm still considering setting up my own sex-toy brand... seriously... I've seen how much* some of these companys charge for a few ounces of rubber or silicon... or glass... or leather... or ceramic... or... etc., etc., its outragous...

I read a great book on sexological research. Not all of it is conducted in academic institutions. Much is conducted in the services of 'Product Research'. The best bit was the footnotes. There was a long digression on perspex.

Highly recommended:

http://www.amazon.com/Bonk-The-Curious-Coupling-Science/dp/0393064646

And what Alfred Kinsey did with his toothbrush doesn't bear thinking about.

The electric toothbrush is, it would seem, a starting point for many DIY home-made sex-toys I understand its vibrations can be harnessed in the final product... though a tenner can buy a pretty decent vibe ... apparently...

Problem is that you need electricity.
I think we should aim at re-newable sources of energy.
Hand-powered devices or devices with a solar panel (removable) to re-charge the battery should be our eco-friendly solution.


I think you should (also) come back to the idea of baking pita condoms... and other bakery confections like the classical penis-shaped cake that girls eat at their hens parties.

If there´s a , why not a chocolate penis? Chocolate boosts endorphines, just like sex...
Problem: it would get melted too soon... Could we have a penis hardened with toffee? mmm , That flavour mix sounds lovely to me!


Penis-shaped Bacon rolls??

Man, I´m see million coming our way!

This is where my idea for harnessing energy from the bobbing of an arse comes in. You could use it to charge up a toothbrush. Or whatever.

I think the best hand-powered device would be a hand, though.

I've never seen a whip made from a piggiwig's penis. I've seen walking sticks made from bulls' ones' though.

So they do't go floppy when you cut them off?

Apparently whales' foreskins were much prized on whaling ships. They make excellent cagoules.


Then there was the zookeeper who was going to buy some fish for his tea. He couldn't find a bag to take with him, so he grabbed a condom for an elephant. He went to the fishmonnger, held open the condom and said:

'Pound'a fillet.'

And the fishmonger said,

'Pound you don't!'

I wondered about the flop factor, I must admit. I came to the conclusion they either boil it in oil, then bake it to toughen it, or else put a rod down the middle. Either way it's enough to make your eyes water...