h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When the gallant BBC made our merry site its own
And the Thingites from the Thursdayites were flying,
At their bidding it arose, with a skin so blue you'd groan,
A ugc with factoids all undying.
Insensitive, we trow, as a website well should be,
Though 2legs to save his post should come a-fighting,
There's a sign upon its brow
That is eloquent to see,
And says, Don't Panic, and it means we should be writing.

*bom, bom, bom*

The may twist and the turn,
The bondage mouseclicks earn,
O'er London Town's Olympic hoard
We keep our noisy watch and ward...

*bom, bom, bom*

whistle cheer clap

Bravo!

I think this should turn into a piece for the Post

Keep 'em coming, and we'll see what we can do.

Loving this!

Researcher:
Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave towel I fly,
Than lurk silently through these parts
With a writer's head and an artist's heart.
Away to the Real Life world go you,
Where most users are lurkers too;
But I’ll be true to research I write,
And live and die a true Thingite.

For I am a Researcher!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Researcher!

For I am a Researcher!
Chorus:
You are!
Hurrah for our Researcher!
Researcher:
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Researcher.
Chorus:
It is!
Hurrah for our Researcher!
Researcher & Chorus:
Hurrah for the/our Researcher(s)!

Researcher:
Whether I stay home or go away,
I do so in a studious way.
I learn a few more things, it's true
Than a TV watcher's likely to;

Subjects well-known or baffling,
Life, Universe and Everything.
Research it all, deep thought applied,
Submit your work to build our Guide

Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave towel I fly,
Than lurk silently through these parts
With a writer's head and an artist's heart.
Away to the Real Life world go you,
Where most users are lurkers too;
But I’ll be true to research I write,
And live and die a true Thingite.


For I am a Researcher!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Researcher!

For I am a Researcher!
Chorus: You are! Hurrah for the Researcher!

And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Researcher.

Chorus:
It is!
Hurrah for all Researchers!
Researcher & Chorus:
Hurrah for the/our Researcher(s)!

Great stuff guys - didn't know we had so many G&S fans.

Now this is what I remember as being special about h2g2 - real wit, real invention, generosity of spirit and in this case rhythm, meter and scansion to boot.

Researchers:
With Cat-Like Thread
A Greebo shall appear
By donuts led
Researchers shall draw near
On the Front Page
Quote of the week is seen
In "Ask" there's rage
About what words are clean

Moderators:
Oh where’s the bar, oh where's the bar????

Researchers:
Come friends, who hootoo view
Truce to altercation
Try some mediation
Let's visit PR too
Writing entries for to do

Pastey :
Here's your smilies
And your suffix
Your on-screen persona
You may want to nix

Your journal entries
Blame old 2legs please
Take your Post
And your sodding s

An some day it may happen that a victim must be banned
I've got a little list - I've got a little list
Of internet offenders who we'd all like to be canned
And who never would be missed - who never would be missed!
There's pestilential nuisances who sign-off "lots of laughs"
and the clever folk with maths degress whose entries all need graphs
and dragon slaying heros all pretending to be elves
and gryroscopes who flood the threads with posts about themselves
the one who just clicks on "share", the web memeticist
They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of 'em, be missed

There's the one who's always right and always on your case
And the raging feminist, I've got her on the list
Ad the bots who land and post a link and vanish without trace
They'd none of them be missed - they'd none of them be missed
There's the one who thinks they're clever but who really cannot think
And the nutter in the tin-foil hat who's typing in green ink
And the one who argues endlessly but misses every point
And the laid-back baby-boomer who rolling up a joint
The unpolular anomoly, the ardent athieist
I don't think they'd be missed? I'm sure they'd not be missed!

All those willing and top sexy girls who're hot to be your wife
And the creationist. I've got them on the list
The homophobic bigots who just now are rather rife
They really should be fisked. They really should be fisked.
The poor Nigerian princes who just want to give you cash
Or ads that bounce around the screen with audio and flash
Or the mom that dentists hate whose teeth are shiny white
Or the promises that you can lose 5 lbs of belly over-night
But it doesn't really matter whom you put upon the list
For they'd none of 'em be missed, they'd none of 'em be missed

(Not that I'm bitter, or anything. ).

Ben - you are absolutely brilliant! I think I should print this out.

Some of the above contributions should be performed and turned into video content, surely?

The true geniuses are G&S. It was a fun thing to do on the train.

Perhaps The Singing Librarian Owl could rustle up a concernt performance for us? It would definitely be awesome.

I feel a Christmas Panto season approaching. Is there such a thing as virtual panto?

Oh Yes There IS!

She's behind YOU!

Have you seen them, boys and girls?

B

Mrs Zen, did you know I was subscibed to this thread? If bribed with sufficient , I could at the very least manage an audio version of some of these...

Have been trying to come up with something of my own as well, but you all keep pinching the best tunes!

*s off to Google Online Chocolate Emporiums*

Emporia...

B

Sorry, still don't know why I feel the need to do that.

B