h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes. What's happened to that advice? It seems to have fallen by the wayside - until people wake up again

Work hard and it'll happen.

"In 2002 you'll be taken by a sudden whim to give up smoking. DON'T DO IT."

The numbers for tomorrow's lottery are 11 14 15 33 39 42.

Sleep with that redhead who never wore a bra while you have the chance. You won't get a second one.

**hands over list** The following women will NOT sleep with you. Save yourself some embarrassment and humiliation and don't bother asking.

Try and make some pretence at passing your degree. At least get out of bed and go to the lectures.

Get your hands on that old Star Wars collection before your mother sends them to the charity shop.

Scrape together every last penny you earn before April 2009 and place it on Mon Mome to win the Grand National.

B

Figure out your own opinion, and have your own life. Don't live the life of boyfriends. Have your own friends, and trust your instincts.

And you are not ugly.

The guy you just was introduced to and you felt was à jerk... Stick to that feeling, and don't get involved with him when you're 18. OK, he's very easy to get in bed, but boring even there and it will take you a quarter of à century to get rid of him and at a very high cost.

I'm quite sure you can do better.

Think very carefully if really want to change high school. Engineering might not be the best choice, but they have other options. You will undoubtly learn à lot during those years at boarding school, especially about Life, Universe and Everything, but it will affect and delay other important aspects of your life.

Goodness me, what's this massive amount of paper doing all over the thread? *Reads #25* Ah. Must be Mu Beta's list.


To my 16 year old self: One day there will be someone who really really really likes you and you keep him at arm's length, because... Well, don't do that.

Must say I agree with Xanatic, 'learn a trade'.

When the time came (age 16) to choose between
an academic pursuit of University qualifications
or going to the trades school to learn how to make
an honest living as an auto mechanic or electrician
I fell for the notion that intellectuals are kinder,
gentler people with better taste, higher standards,
cushier lifestyles, more freedom, job satisfaction,
social position, prettier wives, flashier cars, etc.

Turns out I'da been much better off with a bit of grease
beneath my nails instead of wallowing in the excrement
of nebulous philosophies, ambivalent vocabularies, petty
status seeking, bitchy artistic jealousies, surreal values,
abstract rationalisations and ego-centric fantasies.

Yup, a hard days graft dealing with real mechanical issues
and quantifiable results would have been so much more
rewarding than the posturing and infighting and pretensions
of the intellectual dead ends of the arts and academia.


~jwf~

jwf your education was worth it just for the beauty of the the prose in that post.


My 16 year old self should have learned

that grown ups are not infallible
That she is capable of making decisions herself
That she ought to develop opinions on things
That she is NOT tall
That she should watch her weight
That she should pack in as many exciting things in as she can.
That it's OK to dump that boy in the sixth form because he's going to meet a girl who's a more suitable wife for him and anyway he'll still remain friends.

My advice would be to my 15-year-old self: Ignore what your friends have chosen for A-levels. Don't go for sciences just because they'll 'get you a better job'. Go for arts. Your English Lit, French, Latin and History results equal/better your Maths, Chemistry and Physics results. You'll enjoy languages more than you'll enjoy sciences. Job satisfaction is more than just money.

To my 16 year old self I would say.

~you will get to university, and actually meet a really great guy there
~follow your heart, don't let others get you down
~Stop being so godammn stubborn and get all the help you can now instead of having to fight for it later.

To my 14 year old self I would say

~pick German not French in school, or both if you can
~Even though your dad thinks RME is an easy pass, you would probably enjoy it.
~academia isn't the be all and end all
~talk to someone about your problems, don't just bottle it up inside

mini

Loose the mutton chop sideburns, the swoop hair and the books. Get out more and your first is still available (as is her girlfriend). Dance more.

Take the acting job. Offers like this happen once only. Given a choice between being an engineer, and playing one on Star Trek, the latter is easier, more fun and pays better.

Look after your hoop and your hoop will look after you.

Never trust anyone who claims to have turned down a job on Star Trek.

good one hd!

a few things:

- go on with vocational training , second cycle means more options, lab analysis, radiology,...etc. that path will get you a job, however philology... be practical, you have to afford everything! picking grapes to buy books on linguistics? silly girl!

- there´s something called clitoris, do a research about it.

...

value your relationship with your sisters more than you do now

Ah, yes, I can see how that misunderstanding could arise...

I turned down an acting job at 16, and did "proper" things instead.

What I meant was... *if* I'd taken that job, that relatively insignificant, entirely non-sf but Equity-card-acquiring job, *if* I'd followed the acting profession, *if* I was any good at it, *if*, *if*, *if* etc... I might, possibly, have been able to end up doing what Simon Pegg is doing, instead of being an actual engineer.

And I'd tell my 16 year old self to take the chance.