h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

LOL to above post

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I have just remembered another from Nanna!!



When asked how she was keeping:-


Life is a bumpy road, but I am sitting on a cushion!

Oooh, now granny sayings is a whole n'other thing!!!

My Gran went to bed every night with the phrase "I'll see you tomorrow - If I'm spared death"

Another of her best was:

"What's afore ye, willnae gae past ye"

Anyone else turned their nose up at the meal put in front of them, to hear "There's little children in Africa would be glad of that..."?

Any why do mothers clean your face by spitting on a hanky, then scrubbing at the dirty mark REALLY hard? I wish mine would stop it



Lxx

and i'm still trying to work this one out Mr Wolf... <<'Choke up chicken'>>

"You'll never get them teeth templates out of that butter!"

I used to get 'choke up chicken' too.

chicken was the usual endearment for the child who was coughing/spluttering whilst trying to swallow something with difficulty. Hence - dont choke on that sweetheart, cough it up!

Phew! Thanks for that, I was getting all sorts of images

I'm still half convinced that chewing gum is made from pigskin, and that if I swallow it, it'll gum my insides up, and i'll die a horrible death!

Cheers mum!

Lx

Oh Yes!!

I was told I would get a bubble gum tree growing inside my tummy!

'Your finger will get stuck up there if you keep picking your nose!'

or even

'Your head will cave in!'



Lx

"I'll nail your foot to the floor, if you don't stop running around!!

Whilst you were running around, did you have mittens on, with a bit of elastic tied to one, going up your coat sleeve, across the back and down to the other mitten?

Or was it just me?

Lx

..Yes.. and a bonnet with a wire arched through it too (like a hairband)..

You could ride to London on that lip!

and...

I wouldn't touch you with a bloody great barge pole!

'You'll get square eyes watching that rubbish on telly, don't sit so close!'

Or just 'What's that rubbish you're watching?', without even looking to see if it was rubbish... I really do still get that one


Lx

"Picking your brains again!"

Said very loud to draw attention to you, when trying tho have a shifty scratch in the nose area.



I noticed today something she still does is to prefix a sentence with my name, spoken to make it sound longer than it really is eg. "Jjjj~~~aaaa~~~bbbb" As if that is going to make the rest of the sentence true, even if it could not be any more wrong if she tried!

"That's right! Keep shouting and let the neighbours know what's going on!"


Me to Vicki Virago whan I said "No" to something.. she opened the bedroom window and screamed!

On the rare occasions I was very naughty I got held by one hand, whilst having the backs of my legs smacked. Each smack being punctuated by a word in the telling off...

"I'M SICK TO DEATH OF TELLING YOU TO BE- HAVE!!!"




Lx

as Billy Connolly said,
"I'll take my hand off your face !"

I used to say "stand here" and point to the side of my chair.. They would look at me and say "no you will hit me".. "No says I, come here"

This went on for a few minutes.. until they stood beside the chair.. and *Slap*.. "you said you wouldn't" they cried!!

"I wouldn't had you come the first time of asking" Said I!..