h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"If you jump off there and kill yourself don't come crying to me."


When asked "What's for dinner?" the response was invariably "Children's questions with sugar sprinkles." to which the smart reply is now (many years later) "Oh no - we had that last night!"



Great thread

We had.. "what's for dinner" "Dunno haven't christened it yet!"


Night folks!!

lil xx

"Wait until your father gets home!" Trouble is he hasn't come home and he left in 1963!

When cleaning out childs ear of wax 'It is like a farm in here'

patients is a virtue posses it if you can often in a woman but seldom in a man

And of course the classic - when caught pulling a face at her behind her back (how *do* they know? )..
'The wind'll change and you'll stay like that'

"Do you want a slap" Could never get that one.

"It'll end in tears", which it normally did.

that's all I can think of.

"where have you been"

"The flicks Mom"

"You've been on that fair, haven't you?"

"No Mom.. we went to the flicks"

"Don't lie to me! I can see it in your eyes!... You have been to the fair"

"Only on the bigwheel Mom... and we did go into the flicks..honest!"


For years, I blamed my uncle as he worked close to where the fair was staged. It took me years to work out that she would know we would be attracted to the fair anyway!

only one's I remember are my mum's 'non' swearing, which for something bad was 'hells bells and buckets of gore', of course if something really, really bad happened thent here was silence. We soon knew to make ourselves scarce in those situations!

The other one was the rhyme said when one was doing the 'can I? can I?' type thing:

Patience is a virtue
Virtue is a grace
Grace is a little girl
Who wouldn't wash her face.

Oh, and of course, the perrenial ping pong of 'Ask your father', who, when asked, would say 'Ask your mother'. At which point you go and do it anyway

My mother in law says fish cakes instead of swearing, 'coz my father in law doesn't approve of that kind of language...

Hi Lord Wolfden

If you can't say anything etc; comes from the film Bambi.
Thumper's mother used to say it to him whenever he criticized something.


"Thumper! what would your Father say? if you cain't say somethin good, don't say nothin at all"

I used to say it to my Daughter when she was small and doing much the same thing.

"What did I just say?"



"Are you listening to me?"



Both don't have an answer, do they?

Bill's Mother seems to have got all over the place, we had one too in Derbyshire.

One of my Mother's favourite sayings was "you're asking for a good hiding" when what I was actually in need of was a good hiding place.

Mothers are great for telling you what you want.

"You want slapping both ways!"



Eh? Not that she would slap me.

Then again she has some strange words like *Snooed*. As in; "we are snooed in ants out there." Meaning there are lot's of them, covering an area.

one that has confused me is that my parents, over the last 5 yrs or so, have started using the word 'upskittle' instead of 'upset'. I have no idea why. I've never heard anyone else using it.
Personally, I think it is down to senility

They're creating their own lingo. Leave them be.
And about Bambi- I'm sure it came from somewhere else, it sounds so motherly. Probably one of the writers' mother came up with this one.

>They're creating their own lingo. Leave them be.

Maybe, but I wonder how long it will be till I can't understand them anymore?

Re: Bambi! it may well have come from somewhere else as well. However, Bambi was my all time favourite as a child; and I distinctly remember that section of the film; where Bambi was trying out new words and Thumper was criticizing.

Bambi is a good moral tale

Things my mother used to say:

"I went into town with Sheila today. You know Sheila?"
(me) "No, mum."
"Yes you do!" etc.

"Do you want gravy?"
(me) "No thanks, I don't like it."
(her, drowning my entire meal in the foul stuff) "Yes, you do!"



I once went home on the day before my birthday. I had with me a birthday cake given to me by a friend. I got home, and in front of one of my cousins my mother asked what was in the tin I was carrying. I opened the tin, to reveal (the day before my birthday, remember) a cake with the words "Happy Birthday" on the top in icing. Her response?

"What's that for?"

I gave my cousin a look that caused him to almost swallow his tongue laughing. He literally almost choked.

SoRB