h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you. There was a hidden compliment there and I'm taking it!

Loved it, Elly!

I know this is a little topic drift, but am I the only one who can remember the old Shackletons advert word for word?

"It's nice to find a comfortale chair when you're getting old, or yo've got arthritis... my neice bought this from Shackletons, you know..."

How many years is it since that was last on???

I should write Seuss poetry more often, then.

Sorry, don't know that one, being child of the '70s and not british.

I just heard a TV announcement for a film:

"Imelda Staunton *IS* Vera Drake".

No she's not, she's an actress. Honestly, you should learn to tell the difference, you stupid announcer-y type person .

RF

::Sigh:: That's just how them kids speak these days... What can you do?

I really dislike a PC World advert at the moment. The assistant is showing a man a laptop and says "You won't be embarassed to get this out at a cafe or at work". I wouldn't mind if they were positive about the product - something along the lines of "You'll look good when you get this out in public" but to attempt to create a stigma out of owning an out-of-date computer seems ghastly to me.

She's saying that it's made by (certain famous Japanese company) and that's why you won't be embarrassed to show it in public. To be honest, I always found having laptops out in a cafe a bit of a cringe-worthy-act anyway, sort of "look at me, I'm a cool computer-techy person"

That PC world ad is reminscent of those old Mobile phone ads (phones4U?) where they put paper bags over peoples' 'embarrassing phones'

I think Rory McGrath summarised my feelings on this sort of thing on Grumpy Old Men when he said something along the lines of...
"The world would have to be a different place, hunger would be no more, the third world debt would be cancelled and war would be over before I started to give one thousandth of a shit what someone else thought of my mobile phone"
Amen.

Has anyone else seen the latest Ribena advert where millions of fruits are desperately trying to get to the Ribena factory only to be mown down within site of the door.
Don't worry, billions *do* make it.

This advert makes me think of people desperately trying to get into Auscwhitz only to be shot at the entrance. Say what? Is this really the sort of image Ribena are really after portraying?

First time I saw the Ribena advert I thought it was cute, until the fruit got squash. But the "don't worry, millions make it" always rubbed me the wrong way- their juices are disgusting and probably full of chemicals, so I don't worry, and if I were a blackberry or what have you, I think I'd rather be squashed than put in a Ribena bottle.

How about the new Lynx advert, "I'm here in Miami and you're not- bad luck! (I don't think luck had anything to do with it, never wanted be with these annoying people) if you want to see the guys put on their moves (I don't), the Mynxes (definitely don't) and (sigh) Kelly Brookes (who's she?) go to.... " This whole campaign is awful and downright sexist, I'm not jealous of you being Miami, bu$$er off and leave me alone! Oh yes, and go work on your acting, Woody.

Orcus, yes, I moaned about that mobile phone advert when it came out. Paul Merton did the voiceover: "Are you embarassed by your mobile phone?". I would've thought he'd have known better.

Paul Merton? I swear he's said something about passive mobile phoning. Doesn't have one just borrows someone elses.

Paul Merton once said he wouldn't do advertisements unless somebody offered him loads of money to do it. Phones4U obviously did just that.

Money is important!

I only caught half of it I wa so in shock, but a cereal advert for a special promotion about having a slimmer waist by eating two miniscule bowls of their godawful cardboard a day (oh, and the main meal must be balanced! No $h*t!)... but the not-so-small print says something about various body parts measured... I cant wait to see the ad again so I can see what it actually says. Suspect it's something about their spurious claim being based on a thigh measurement on a half-starved lab-monkey (read: model) and various other body parts which have been indirectly adjusted to intimate a reduced waist measurement...

/rant!

The ad is for Special K and it says that if you eat 2 bowls a day for two weeks, plus one other 'balanced' meal, you'll lose an inch of your waist. (It used to be 'drop a jeans size'.) I've not noticed any small print but, if it's anything like the exercise equipment that's advertised on some digital channels, they'll say something like, "Results will vary." I reckon that, if it works, it's because you lose your appetite within a week and consequently don't eat anything at all - or you just eat the 'one balanced meal'!

the 'small' print was quite long and body parts were definitely mentioned... Keep an eye on it! It's got to be on a par with the cosmetics ones that claim 78% of wrinkly idiots actually believe us and the small print says '123 women tested'... That's what I call a scientific and unbiased survey! Oh, and the ones about X% of women surveyed said they definitely noticed a 'feeling' or 'sensation' of whatever the desired result is. Wonder what their control group used? Wonder how many of those people believe anything they are told if it's packaged nicely... The percentage that said no actually arent that gullible!

As far as skin care products of various kinds are concerned, C4's "How to Look Good Naked" has the right kind of idea. OK, the test group is necessarily small, but they do blind testing of various products and then mark them on things like fragrance, how nice they are to use and, most important, do they work. They test cheaper brands and expensive ones. So far, the only product that has scored reasonably well is the self-tan body lotion (69 - 75 out of 100). Things like anti-cellulite creams and breast firming creams didn't even make 50. Based on the results, if you want an 'anti-cellulite' cream, just use ordinary body lotion and massage it in.

I do like that programme... The body IS beautiful!

I saw some posters with an older woman sitting there naked, and a sign saying "There´s no age limit to beauty". I´m guessing that took some heavy paintbrushing to make them appear to have younger, less wrinkly bodies.

The cardboard cereal one won't let you play if you're not fat enough! If you're only a bit overweight they tell you to bugger off, and they base that on waist size, so perhaps that's what the small print is telling you.

It's not fair, I say! Why can't I lose an inch off my waist? I still want to get back to pre baby size...