h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The lovers lament to a quiche with spinach and bacon

Time, not eons but time,
Ageless eternal and forever,
Perfection in crust and baking
The creation of my inner dreams,
Forfilling my every imagination
The folding and blending that past
The Time eternal it jeweld
Like the passing of a long lost friend,
Once more unto the unknown,
Yet so famuliar in all that occured,
The one enduring moment,
of egg and pastry entwined,
Devilish combination of lusfulness
lusting for ever more
To once more be at one with the hearts desires
Of my quiche with spinach and bacon

I blame 2legs for the utter lack of any rhymical sence in the above

Reminds me of one made famous by Billy Connolly, 2legs.....

"Why is there no monument
To porridge in our land.
If its good enough to eat,
Then its good enough to stand.

On a plinth in Glasgow
A statue we should see,
To oatmeal made in Scotland.
Signed 'Oatmeal, O.B.E.'"




GT

Supprize i've not heard that one before, I love most of his humor so much

Oh how devilishly simple
is your answer to me
of what to drink
A nice warm cuppa tea that was poor... very poor...
I'm tired and drunk... and its cold
and I forgot to buy tea earlier
and its too late for coffee...
and its too late for tea...
so its off to bed soon for me...
I blame 2legs for awful poetry... the vogons oughta watch out they're in for some competition

I blame 2legs for not being able to sleep and yet I'm up early tomorrow to receive my new washing machine I might have to greet them in my dressing gown

I've answerd the door to our postman in naught but my knickers before... and they were the entirely inappropiate knickers too no wonder why our mail is always going astray
I blame 2legs for my idea to go to bed nice and early... because of delivery in tommorrow some time, but also because I'm tired, and then my getting distracted by the tune I was working on... it all sort of went well... so now its approaching a half done tune rahter than a quarter done tune... but now I have* to stop and sleep for which I blame ... elton john and Louise Catchpole.

>>> I blame 2legs for the utter lack of any rhymical sence in the above

Nah, it's great, it's free verse.

I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to writing* poetry... I can't make sense of what I write unless its rhyming or at least scanning in a rhymicall way... yet... I love* hearing other peoples (proper poets), works, including more modern free form verse etc

An ode to the first meal of the day

Seven hours of laying,
Flat out apon my back,
the chill cold air of morning,
Then awakens to another day
Foggy mind stiff legs,
Acheing arms and aching back
a stretch a yawn and its action again,
Standing then in the kitchen,
contemplting the status of food
Bacon eggs and toast,
or just coffee and a marlboro?
Two cups of coffee later
the mind is suddently clear,
There's only one things for breckfast,
marlboro and Mexican beer

i woke up this morning
with a terrible craving
i needed some eggses
and a mug full of coffee
a handfull of ciggies
and the aid of some nurses...

I blame 2 legs
for the hideous thingy
that lurks in my new machine

Oh spanking new washer dryer I love yer
but why do I need to
understand your inner life?

Your sacred manual of instructions
Which will consumate
my wooly materials with your workings

Oh God. New instructions.

I love you as yet, from afar and sore afraid

that is SO clever Effers!

I blame 2legs that I don't think I can write stuff like this.

Apologies...

Credit for post 13142 should read Spike Milligan, not Billy Connolly.....


Oooops!!!


GT

Lanza

I blame 2legs because apparently my taps need to be turned into valves before the new baby can be plumbed in...more hassle

Effers,

(translated from German, from a Korean manual)

"Marry electric wool to wall wart for being hot."

Would you do that to your baby? I was expected to do it to my microwave.

Oh to drink the coffee,
That bitter yet sweet tasting bean,
oh to drink the coffee,
and wake up once again
Oh to drink the coffee,
hot steam that stings my eyes,
Oh to drink the coffee,
oops spilt coffee all over my flys
Oh to drink the coffee,
hot mug of warming joy,
oh to drink the coffee,
addicted to cofffee? who moi?

Oh to drink the coffee,
I don't think I can take any more
oh to drink the coffee,
bastard, spilt it on the floor
I blame 2legs for world war three happening outside

Oi, 2legs,

i'VE DECIDED TO BLAME YOU FOR sELF aSSESSMENT tAX fORMS, LENGTHY PRE-RECORDED ANSWERPHONE MESSAGES FROM hmrc about the deadline for SA Tax Forms. I also blame you for my keyboard being set to Upper Case

I blame 2legs for my lodger not yet having gone out... and so my not yet err having fun with my friend I also blame 2legs for my being so sleepy

I blame 2legs for my coffee press being unable to sustain a rapid fire rate. Being a addict and brewing with a muzzle loader just isn´t it.

I blame 2legs for tiredness.... and err it being winter... and cold... and also for my stupideth birthday which I think is on Monday Waht's teh point of a birthday on a monday?

I blame 2legs for a rather nice female plumber, pluming in my new washer dryer and saying the idiots who came yesterday and said 'no can do' were talking beaulocks about the tap connections being turned into valves. I now need the old machine taken away but have a wonderful new machine now plumbed in

I blame 2legs for plumming full stop and gas boilers, and leaky bathroom tiles and windows that don't function well and for laundry, tiredness and for my not being able to make my mind up about lunch; cream of tomato soup with bread roll]s], or just tuna mayo rolls