h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2legs for how quickly optimism based on nothing really if I'm honest, can so easily turn into pessimism or maybe that's realism?

I blame 2legs for the price of imbeded wall mounted computer systems capible of working in a steamy atmopshere such as my bathroom.

I blame 2legs for wanting a PC in the bathroom in the first place.

In second place I blame 2legs for the computer in the spare room and the other one in the wardrobe on the landing.

I blame 2legs for the unavilibility of USB powered/controlled coffee machines and for it being late and for it being proablby to late for anything to eat and for food.

I blame 2legs for the splash of hot oil across the inside joints of my fingers when putting potatoes in to be fried. At least it was my left (I'm right handed) but it still hurts

Amy, grated raw potato applied directly to the burn or scald will ease the pain and speed the healing.


In some third world countries where bandages are expensive they have found that potato peelings make a great substitute.

I blame 2legs for snoring

I blame 2legs for the plumage of the Scandanavian Nose Flute, for salami two cheese and mayo baguettes, and for nicoteen and cafine.

I blame 2legs for windy cold and much snowy weather and for not cleaning my kitchen.

I blame 2legs for it being cold despite the abscence of snow at the current time

I blame 2legs for my wasted time at the blood donor today as they couldn't take my blood 'cos I recently had an endoscopy. Why didn't 2Legs tell me?

I blame 2legs for my being banned from giving blood in perpatuity. Just when I no longer have any fear of needles wahtsoever and would have liked to be donating as regularly as possible, not least due to the five pints or so of other peoples blood I had myself ...

I blame 2legs for there not only* being one reason I can't give blood, but actually about three

I also blame 2legs for the non-ease of rearranging VST ordering

I blame 2legs for the blood thing too, and for me forgetting to reply to an email specifying which workshops I want to attend at the conference tomorrow.

I'll proper blame him if I end up in age discrimination rather than LGB.

So, you mean there isn't an "Age descrimination LBG" combined group: where will all the old queens get to go?

I blame 2legs for VST

I also blame 2legs for the bloody thing, due to the pharmacy I take to keep me sane

Though I bet if there was a big emergency like a big war or something they might change the criteria..I reckon. My blood is great

They don't seem to understand... If they were to take my blood they'd be so happy: Mine has an extrmely long shelf-life due to its being at a minamum of 70% proof ... or is that 70% poof.... I forget

I blame 2legs for Uwan De-Whay.

"I blame 2legs for the plumage of the Scandanavian Nose Flute,"

Are you mad, man? It's the Norwegian nose flute that has plumage, Norwegian I say.

Look, it says so right here in my Identifying of the Nose Flute book.

"Here is a picture of the Nowegian Nose Flute, lacking only the plumage of the Scan..di...na...vi..."Eggh!

I blame 2legs for minor factual divergence.

I blame 2Legs for Thatprat not know ........well, I just blame 2Legs for Thaprat.

I blame 2legs for being as mad as a donut.

I blame 2legs for polish chicken and mushroom pate-fuelled weekends, baby oil and clean, glossy hair

polish chicken?
Does that mean you have to Pledge to eat it?

I blame 2Legs for the shower gel running out when I get in the shower after my wife. I blame 2Legs for the water all over the shower room floor. I also blame 2Legs for my wife not bothering to replace the shower gel.