h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i blame 2legs that i lol'd!

I blame 2legs for only three days left of my vacation

I blame 2legs for BT Answer 1571 and the fact that I hate leaving answerphone messages.

I blame 2legs for E-Mails, USB connectivity, salami on toasted whitebread with butter, the diminishing amount of cheese in the fridge, the need to clean the kitchen this morning despite cleaning it twice yesterday including after I'd been in the kitchen for the final time of the day, for goose down and eiderdown bedspreads/duvets, for washing machines being far far too small, and for radioactive flying pigmy poneys.

shhhhh...the radioactive flying pigmy poneys might hear you! they're nasty little buggers, bit my finger clean off did one!

i blame 2legs for radioactive flying pigmy poneys!

I blame 2legs for nobody knowing that the plural of pony is ponies.

i blame 2legs that Br. doesn't realise that poneys are a particular nasty type of fantasmical creature from antioch!

that would explain the confusion

I blame 2legs for the fact that Robyn and I appear to be the only people who know that the plural of is s.

I blame 2legs for the fact that my keyboard once again assumes that I want to type in upper case.

In fact I blame 2legs for the fact that my KB changed from l/c to u/c partway through my typing the previous sentence, and I had to go back and change it

In fact, I think I may petition for a 'kicking the PC'

not my idea of a 'kicking' night out

I blame 2legs for having to decide what I want from the take away tonight

I blame 2legs for knowing that you should have;
Sweet and sour chicken balls.
Chinese roast pork chowmain.
Bamboo shoots with beansprouts in black bean sauce.
Egg fried rice.
Prawn Crackers.
Quarter roast duck.
Wongtong soup.
and chips, natch
or:
Chicken biriani.
pishwari naam.
Onion Bhaji.
Vegetable samosa.
pompadoms and dips.
Or:
Two battered sausages.
Chips.
Scraps.
And a pickled egg and mushy peas.
or:
cheese and tomato thin crust pizza with mushrooms, onion, mixed peppers, spicey beef, peparami and chillis.
Garlic bread
Chips.
or;
A rack of spare ribs.
a rack of beef tacos.
and a diet cola.
I blame 2legs for forgetting to get the lamb steak out of the freezer to defrost and the subsequently likely switch to cooking something that doesn't involve lamb ce soir
I blame 2legs for the shop not ahving any of the cigarettes I normally get and my giving in to their suggestion and buying a packet of 'light' cigarettes of the same brand. I blame 2legs for these cigarettes being absoultely bluddy tasteless

I blame 2legs for me now being tempted to forgo the takeaway in order to spend more time with a friend...

I blame 2legs for there being no here for a too long a period of time

I blame 2legs for the being probably something of an optimistic outlook...

i blame 2legs that i don't understand!

I blame 2legs...

And what I mean is, I might not be getting as much as I want

I BLAME 2LEGS FOR THE FACT THAT rOBYN APPEARS TO BE AT LEAST GETTING SOMETHING |

I blame 2legs for my pesky keyboard

i blame 1legs that big al hasnt bought an el-cheapo replacment keyboard yet!

i also blame 2legs for my recent weight loss meaning the outfit i am wearing to a wedding tomorrow no longer fits!

I blame 2legs making me want prawn crackers, and the total absence of said crackers in the Lair, for which 2legs of course also is to blame.