h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, that doesn't fit. Omnipotas would be more like: I can do everything, I'll solve all the problems. Clearly an unfeasible agenda to support in real-politick.

Now, Autocraticas would be the 'You will vote for ME and do what I tell you' party. But I don't think I want to go that far. Carrots rather than sticks are the order of the day, I feel.


Geggs

Well here at Party Design Inc we aim to please. Bespoke Political Parties to order. Now what Sir really wants is:

Enticitas - Vote for us and we promise you virgins and chocolate and fine wines and foie gras. How does that feel Sir.

Feels like - what, you'll give us some additional children ? No thanks , we already have our own

I like the idea, but the name itself is causing me problems. I'm not entirely sure I could actually pronounce it. It fits rather oddly upon my lips.

On the hand it does smack on blatant electioneering, and though we will of course get involving some electioneering when the time comes, I'd rather it didn't smack blatantly.

Though smacking subtly between consenting persons is something we could allow in a free and fair society, or at least, something we would never have the public support to allow us to legislate against.


Geggs

Well yes maybe it is a little err exotic for you Sir. How about this one we've just got in:

Temptitas - Vote for us because you relly know you want to.

How does that feel, nice and roomy, not too tight.

Oops, sorry Sir, a little snag just there in the middle. Ahh yes thats REALLY got it.

I like that last one, WA, 'cos it contains both and @rse.

RF

Incompitas

Because we

bugger!

Certainly Sir, we cater for all tates here at Party Inc, no phobias within a mile, let me tell you. Now lets see what we can do for Sir, ah yes, try this for size:

Pinkitas - Do vote for us, go on, dare you. Don't knock us till you've tried us.

I'm not afraid to admit when I don't know the answers, or at least state that I haven't been fully briefed, but I'm sorry to say that the last party name has my stumped. Not sure of the point of that name at all, though I am sure that it's a clever contruction, as all the suggested names have been. Indeed.

Nonetheless, a suspect that it order to gain the maximum public support we will need to be all things to all men, like Omnitas, or Varitas, or Pragmatas or some such.

But then again, we don't want to lose sight of our core values, and must remain true to ourselves, as it must surely, as night follows day, that no man will think we are being false to them, which would be us Polonias, or maybe Laertas. Oh dear. I've shifted into Shakespearian allusion. Hmmm... shakespearias? No, too silly. Too Stratford. Though he did run the Globe...


Geggs

Has anyone seen Kilroy-Silks FerretArse ?

Oh, and we were trying to be so subtle about it too.

Anyhow, moving away from the issue of names, are there any non-threatening, non-partisan, all-inclusive, family-friendly, singleton-acceptable, multi-purpose policies that the party should adopt?


Geggs

How about free beer for everyone, except those who don't want it, in which case we'll give them an un-quantified amount of an un-specified alternative, which you may (or may not) be delighted with. (No guarantees will be given, or indeed met on any of our campaign promises, as we're not entirely sure what we're talking about, and hope you don't notice) *Note - standard disclaimer must be applied to all qoutes / press releases / comments at parties etc*