h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well lets do some group problem solving.

Here's my quandary:

right there was this girl and i met her at this barbie on saturday

and she was nice and we talked about stuff and changed phone numbers and that

and she doesn't want to go dancing tonight has "an inevitable meeting with my landlord but would like to. shame" and had asked me previously, in a non-amorous way, to come round for dinner sometime

i sent her some funny texts and she hasn't responded

HOW LONG SHOULD I WAIT BEFORE I BRING DINNER UP WITH HER?

barbie = barbecue for non-english speakers

oh and they weren't bad joke texts they were just stuff about books and sex

You're pestering her about sex already? No wonder she doesn't respond!

Bit harsh there, Mala.
What were the jokes?

I'm just saying, sounds like too strong a come-on. I doubt she's willing to go dancing if there's an implication that she has any kind of, er, obligations afterward.

How old are you both?

I drop the dinner idea in the meantime. Suggest something else, more low key. If she wants to spend time with you, you just have to leave some openings.

well

she reccommended this book called Palm Latitude by Kate Braverman

i thought it was a palmistry book so i told her i could do some amazing things with my hands...a bit like dancing..when r u free?..and had she a copy traumnovelle?

she didn't respond

then i looked it up on wiki and its a novel about LA women and rock n roll

i texted her back to apologise and said i didn't know and did a bit about how loneliness makes me cheap and loud

and the dancing was just tango lessons tonight

I'm 29 and she's 27

Ah, kids!

I would say - let it drop. If she wants to, she has enough texts to reply to.

The loneliness bit though... sheesh... I wouldn't go there. Heavy stuff for a budding , my friend.

Yes, it has a vague note of cheesy pickup line tempered with desparation - even though that's (probably) not what you intended.

It seems you're better at hitting it off with her when you talk, rather than text. Since you seem to have met her at a social event, just hope you're both invited together again soon.

excellent

Yeah, loneliness and sex, by txt, not good. Fraught with possible miscommunication too.

Leave it for a week and then ask her something completely neutral and see what happens. Are you likely to have contact with her other than txt? eg run into her at a friends?

well that was the first time we met on saturday

and we got on and she fancied a meal and she had good taste in lit

it was her barbie

and she really liked my potato salad

is there more here than gracious hostess stuff?

There might have been. There might still be - but not if you're going to send texts like that. Personally, I'd file a message like that under "creepy" and go find someone else to text.

So unless you're sure you're writing something sensible, it's better to call - and even better to meet face to face. Easier to avoid mistakes.

And whatever you do, don't keep texting to apologise or worse yet, show up at her house to apologise, that'll get you filed under "creepy stalker"

Good luck!

Almost impossible for anyone to tell over the internet. She's the only one that can answer that.

It's one of the great mysteries to me as to why some men think that friendliness is a sign of sexual attraction or invitation. What's wrong with waiting until it's obvious or until you know someone well enough to ask?