h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What on earth is a scampo? Assuming that it is earthly of course. I tasted scampi once. Literally. I have a vague notion that it is associated with the sea but I do not know if it swims, crawls or oozes. So the word is Italian? Does this mean that the much vaunted Italian cuisine has produced the outrage that is served as pub-grub in Britain? Or has the original been badly translated?

Apparently (yourdictionary.com again) scampo is the singular, is Italian, and refers to a small european lobster ... but having had scampi, it can only be bits from much-mutilated lobsters at best !

Scampi, he said authoritatively, is/are the tail end of a Norwegian Lobster (a species, not a nationality). Or, at least, thats what they were once supposed to be. In our strange British pursuit of cheapness in everything, I cannot imagine what is inside those 'breaded' balls, but venture to suggest it bears little relation to juicy lobster tails, nor does the coating have much to do with bread. Scampi, for me, embodies all that is wrong with this once proud nation.

**very reluctantly stands down from soapbox, muttering 'don't get me started on this, just don't get me started...."**

Oh behave - scampi is good in one respect...it provides one of the super saturated crisp flavours that only the Brits (and specifically Walkers) can do. Ever tasted a European crisp? They all taste of vegetable oil. Me, I want really strong fishy flavour, or life threateningly salty

Q. What do Scotch Eggs grow into when they hatch ? (I know about duck eggs etc.)

Aha - good point.
Also, why are eggs and whisky "Scotch" whilst everything else from Scotland 9except the oil ) is "Scottish"?

I was told that scampi was (or at least should be) whole tailed dublin bay prawns.
Don't know about scotch eggs but I can guess why a sausage rolls

Is Scotts porridge scots porridge, scotch porridge or scottish porridge, or none of these?
Does nobody here have even the foggiest notion of natural history?
Scotch eggs hatch, after several weeks, into baby Haggis of course. The haggis acquires its distinctive coat while rolling around in heather (a bonny lass indeed) searching for food. The Haggis hunting season opens on December the first but the shooting of these shy creatures is carefully controlled.

Considering the price difference between Scotch Eggs and Haggis, I'm going to try to hatch a few - anyone know the ideal conditions/temperature ?

What about crumpets - aren't they small crumps - never seen crumps in the supermarket ...

Dublin bay prawns are the same as Norwegian lobster. They are a species called "nephrops norvegicus". For some reason, these in breadcrumb coating are called "scampi".

Scotch and Scottish used to be interchangeable. A prime minister of England (I think it was) once said, correctly, "we have catched the Scotch". In modern parlance that would be "we have caught the Scottish" or even "the Scots". Somewhere along the way, the use of Scotch for the people became frowned on, but the word lives on, not only in whisky and eggs, but also in "Scotch tape".

Whisky, by the way, is Scotch. Irish whiskey is whiskey. Both come from the Gaelic word Uisce, Water, short for Uisce Beatha, water of life.

I did think the person who told me dublin bay prawns == scampi was correct, she was doing a marine biology degree at the time

The term 'water of life' is used in many languages to describe alcoholic drinks. Uisce Beatha (thankyou Gnomon), Aqua vita, Acquavit,
Eau de Vie. Strange that the active ingredient is not water and the effect on life is, by and large, malign; despite the theory of natural selection of brain cells.

Anyone object if we move away from foods for a while (it's not doing my weight-watching any good at all) ?

I'm quite interested in plurals, e.g ship and ships, sheep and sheep, beep and beeps, person and persons or people

Any takers ?

PS Anyone seen Kaeori this morning ?

Scott's Porridge Oats are Porridge Oats made by a company called 'Scott' (It being a common Scottish surname).

I was always told by Scottish relations that the use of the word Scotch was totally forbidden, except in relation to whisky. The correct adjective is Scottish, or, sometimes, Scot.

Duncan, there is nothing wrong with scampi at all, and properly made from Norwegian Lobster Tails (Your Latin correspondent is right they are the same species as Dublin Bay Prawns, also called Langoustines) and breadcrumbs I am sure they would be delicious. Why, though, do we have to reduce everything to the LCD (Lowest Common Denomitor) of cheapest, and make synthesised scampi with chemical coating, to be microwaved from frozen. Of course the taste and texture are good, the factory chemists have designed it that way. Nutritionally splendid I am sure. But, whats the point! Cheap is the point, and its nasty. It is like making ice-cream from vegetable oil, margarine instead of butter and so on. I could go on, and on, and on.......

Good morning - or what's left of it. Sorry I'm late!

Plurals are definitely interesting:

mouse - mice

louse - lice

spouse - spice

house - ?...

Fish and fish and fishes.
Stadium, stadia.
Radius, radii; hippopotamus, hippopotamii.
Arena, arenae.
Sheaf, sheaves.

The verb 'to be' - why is it irregular in aryan (indo-european) languages?
I am, you are, he\she\one is, we are, you are, they are.
Je suis, tu et, il\elle est, nous somme, vous etes,ils\elles sont.

house - hice ?
actually hice to the high-class pronunciation of the singular, house

Are there differences in plurals between British English & all the rest ?

Apart from (an indeterminate number of) sheep, other 'things' don't have plurals ...
infinity - doesn't matter how many you add to infinity (even another infinity) it's still just the one infinity

I am given to understand that members of the Royal Family (You would know better, sharing choccies with QM) refer to their abode as "one's hice", which means presumably that, having so many, they can't remember where they are staying, and use the plural to avoid embarassing themselves. Thus the plural of house is hice.

Pheroneous - excellent logic & observation
Is what the Royals speak the Real British English ?

More on plurals ...
One of my favourite words is "stuff" - I actually get a little tingle everytime I contemplate it.
Stuff has no plural (?), no matter how many people bring their stuff together, there's still only stuff !

Also stuff refers to any number of any item, or any number of any number of different items, so perhaps it's the only collective word we need in the language (make it easier for the foriegners)