h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What is the point of Valentines Day? It the single most depressing, anticipated, and sadest day of the year. If anyone can think of anything, be sure to let me know.

The point of modern Valentine's Day is to sell flowers and/or Hallmark card with little boxes of candy & such. That's not the real point though. It's really a culling of the unattached (based on the theory that couples really can only relate to other couples). Therfor, on Valentine's day, the happy couple can, say, walk down the street and pick out the other attached people by the look on their face. Those who look dejected are generally single, those who don't generally have a partner. Thus, the couple can 'find' another couple to relate to, even if the relationship is rather vague. And also, the couple can find amusement in the fact that the single people are still single. The world's population loves a couple, and yet is so ready to abuse single people. Hence, Valentine's Day. If it's any consolation, you don't have to celebrate it. I sure as (insert expletive) don't.

Interesting theory. Except that the most miserable Valentines day I've ever had was when I actually had a boyfriend (a very rare occurance, I might add).

My theory is that the day is meant as a test. If a couple can make it through all the forced romance and haven't killed oneanother, then they're likely to last. If the guy shows up with one wilted flower and a bag of M&Ms, rents the movie Evil Dead, and forgets to make any dinner reservations, then I know that it's time to ditch the dork. Heh.

What I want to know is, when was the 'Saint' dropped? It always used to be 'Saint Valentine's Day', i.e, the saint's day for a martyr who had nothing to do with lovers. However, over at least the last decade I have been able to find fewer and fewer cards with the 'Saint' included. I have three calendars with in reach of my computer - Dilbert, 'Forgotten English' and On-The-Ceiling. On-The-Ceiling refers to February 14th as 'Valentine's Day', the other two as 'Saint Valentine's Day', but 'Forgotten English' spoils it by writing a piece in which it is called 'Valentine's Day'. So that's 50% for each name, at the moment, but most of the cards just have 'Valentine's Day'.

As for the point of St. Valentine's Day, Richard (my husband) usually gets me a card and/or flowers, but doesn't always. We seldom, if ever, have a romantic dinner or watch a slushy video. However, on the odd occasions when he doesn't give me a card, I don't treat it as grounds for divorce 'cos I don't need those things as proof that he cares. If your relationship isn't strong enough to cope with a little thing like your 'significant other' forgetting a stupid custom perpetuated by greetings card manufacturers, chocolate manufacturers and florists, it was doomed anyway. And I have never felt depressed at not getting a card. In the days when I was unattached St. Valentine's Day was just another day, as it is for many people. So the idea of being able to identify those left out of the yearly ritual by the look on their face doesn't work.

I just don't understand why everyone has to be all lovely dovey and push it in single people's faces that they suck cause they have no one. When I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, I still suffered because he wasn't paying attention to me and doing all those things that I saw all the other couples doing. So I felt bad about having a boyfriend who didn't care. I'm not saying he didn't do anything, but Valentines Day suckers you into believing that a guy will think you are special. You shouldn't need Valentines Day for that. But that's a whole other story, another question all together.

Steer well clear of anyone who _does_ buy you anything commercially approved, Obviously no mind of his/her own. Also people who buy "funny" cards unless they really do fit some aspect of your relationship. And all mention of the stupid day should be kept out of all schools. (End of rant)

In my case the commercialisation of Valentines day is quite a good thing as it reminds me to do something about my brother's birthday which is two days later...but you may well already know that .

Yeah, why is it that most guys are so unimaginative? You'd think that being romantic was tantamount to having their balls dipped in acid or something! Heh.

Personally, it always seemed so depressing to get (or give) flowers that we're alreaady on their way to dying. I'd much prefer a live plant, myself. How about a bonsai tree to signify the permenance of the love? Or an aloe plant to show that you want to care for your loved one? Or how about some Sage to say that you think your honey is wise?

Ah, I don't know. I do like the idea of a day to give special recognition to those you love. It's a celebration of those folks who make you feel all warm and gooey inside. But the forced commercialness of the day is pretty annoying.

Plants have distinct possibilities, especially if we include Mother-in-Law's Tongue and Mind Your Own Business. Baby fruit trees would be good (especially Lemon) and I can think of several exes for whom I should've bought cactus

The following conversation overheard in a pub in town may make this all clearer:
"Donal, do you love me?"
"Of course - don't I snog you and buy you chips?".

I think you have to understand that we (that is to say men) need guidance on romantic gestures and if we get this guidance from Hallmark or Interflora adverts rather than yourselves then you will get flowers/cards/fluffy teddy bears. As a general rule; don't assume we know - tell us! .

I think the world should be told: I DO NOT COLLECT TEDDY BEARS OR OTHER FLUFFY TOYS!!!! Richard just buys them for me. In the 11 1/3 years since we met he has given me 9 teddy bears and 5 other fluffy toys. I think. I've lost count over the years.

Not that I mind. Each one is an indication of his love and affection. But I wouldn't like it if anyone else gave me a fluffy toy.

My worst valentine's days have been equal in the terms whether I'v had a boyfriend or not. Probably, my best one was when I didn't have one, my best friend and I went to the movies and the mall.

Right now, I'm in between. I have a guy that I like, and he likes me, but we aren't officially a couple. I am very nevous about V day, because I want him to be my boyfriend, but I don't want him to think that I expect him to get me anything, because I don't. Not that I wouldn't like it, I just don't think he will, and that doesn't bother me. If he did get me something I would hope that it wasn't typical V day stuff, except flowers. When I get flowers I emmedatiely(sp?) hang them up to dry. I don't think that love should live forever, but it should leave a nice looking corpse.

I didn't buy my almost-boyfriend anything. I made him a valentine though. He is the first guy that I have been compelled to do that for. I made it because I wanted to, and I'm going to give it to him, because I want him to know how I feel about him, not because I expect something in return. Valentine's day puts all the pressure on guys, to buy stuff for girls. I think that nobody should BUY anybody anything, but make their own gifts, or give something that isn't related to the day. Don't support the consumerism!

Dear little Rat, Valentine's day is not going to go away. You should focus your attention on the people that are important to you, your friends and family for example. This day should be a celebration of haw good it feels to care for someone else. So, if noone gets you anything, don't be sad, give someone something, and feel good about that.

turtle, you say that guys need to be more imaginative, but earlier you said that you would dump a guy if he brought home m&m's and Evil Dead. I would call that imaginative. If my guy did that I would be so unbelievably happy. I would rather have m&m's anyday, instead of a box of chocolates that I'm only going to like a third of. And, Evil Dead? Well, maybe I'm biased, that was the first movie that my first real boyfriend and I watched together. But even if that wasn't so, I would vomit if a guy brought over some horrible romantic comedy.

And, Duncan Jones, "Don't I buy you chips?" that is one of the sweetest things I could imagine a guy saying to me. Most of the guys I'm interested in wouldn't be able to afford much else. The only difference is that they would say "fries" intead.

GreyRose

See, I agree totally. Commercialism of love sucks. Can't stand it. Can't stand that guys need an excuse to give us stuff, why can't they ever do it on there own and not rely on holidays, birthdays, etc..
All v-day does is forces us to be someone we are not. I'd much rather get a bonsai tree than the usual dozen roses I end up with that die the next day.

This holiday shouldnt be getting to me, but it does. I broke up with someone I thought that I loved and now I have to look at all those happy couples in school with teddy bears( why not some other animal, so sick of teddy bears) and flowers and I am gonna look at my ex and it will suck. Maybe I'm overreacting. I just hate this day. It wouldnt be so bad if someone got me something. Greyrose, dont worry. I'm sure he will love the valentine. You made it.And if he didn't get you anything, I'm sure he will feel guilty for not. All of you, great responses, thanks a bunch.

the rat

Yes, I want my guy to be imaginative, but I also think that it would be nice if he thought of ME, instead of himself, just for once. Evil Dead is HIS favorite movie. I hate horror. And the M&M's were just something he picked up two minutes before he got home. The surprises I had for him I'd been planning for weeks. I wasn't expecting all that much from him, but it was just so damn lobsided. To top it all off, he "forgot" to make the reservations for dinner.

I didn't decide that the guy was a loser just because of this whole deal, but it was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back. It just really made me realize how little he was interested in the relationship. And shortly thereafter, he did finally break up with me. That's why I said that I thought that Valentine's day was a test. My guy had been failing all semester long, and Valentines day was the final exam. He got a 48 and ended up with a big fat F for the course! Heh.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not at all a materialistic person. Not in the least. I'd have been completely impressed if he'd just come home with a smile on his face, started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and given me a big fat kiss!

On a lighter note, here's a helpful tip for the guys: it's the little things that make a woman feel special. A little note under her pillow. Remembering her favorite song/restaraunt/color/birthday/whatever. Surprises in general are almost always totally appreciated (as long as it's something she likes!). If in doubt, you can always ask her best friend, or siblings, or other person who knows her really well. You don't need to do anything really drastic or complicated. But doing something special and fun together is pretty much a safe bet.

What I'd like to know is what impresses a guy? What makes you guys feel loved? Help a girl out, ya know?

Sorry if I offended, turtle. It is just a matter of taste.

I know what you're talking about though. Last year my ex came home on valentine's day with a flower with the stem broken 2 inches from the top, GREEN heart shaped candy, and an ugly card with a brain on it, all of which he had bought on the way home. If he wanted to get me something, first of all, he should have known that I don't go in for all that stuff and second he should have planned better. (By the way, the straw that broke my camel's back was that he didn't know what kind of Icee Drink I like, and we'd been going out for almost 4 years!) (But, I was unhappy with the whole thing and had been for awhile.)

Again, sorry, I just read that and thought that was the coolest thing.

GreyRose

Clearly I can't speak for all men - in fact, the sample size here is 1 as I'm not sure I'd ask my fellow man this kind of question but here goes:
'Likes' a good meal or a night out etc. Tickets to my favourite football team (Grimsby Town) match are good. If he's sporty, get him something related to his favourite sport - one of my best gifts was a pair of goaldkeeping gloves...sounds odd, but it shows that the girl knows me esp. since she got the right size and type!

'Dislikes' anything that I'd feel obliged to wear every time I see you again.

I never though of V. day for a day where you look at coupples and feel sad because you're single, but I guess you are right.
Originally we don't have valentines day here, (I live in Norway), but last years there were cards and flowers everywhere. I mostly affected school kids, though, and they use it as a day to say "I like you", and nothing more than that. That can be complicated enough, as they start to count cards and "I have more friends than you," and so on..

But I think V.day is a nice chance for ppl, though. Maybe you get braver then, and you might actually dare talking with the guy/girl you like, but hasn't dared telling.. But the commercial part is sick, yeah!

Heh, so you don't wear the gloves every time your see that girl? Heh.

Nah, I wasn't offended GreyRose. Sounds like we were both dating the same guy! Heh. I actually feel bad for guys like that who are just so completely out of touch. (Though I probably would have likeed the card with the brain on it, that you got. I love neurobiology. It really is a matter of taste.)

Actually, one of the best gifts I ever got from a guy was an illustrated book on bugs. Now THAT was a guy who was paying attention! I use that book all the time, and even used it as a reference for the last tatoo I got. Too bad there aren't more guys like him out there.

..erm, no. Especially as they're made of soft latex and therefore smell like other things made of soft latex. Quite off-putting if your trying to concentrate during a game of football.
..oh yeah, she's also an ex...so maybe it wasn't that good a present after all .
[That last bit of info is more for the benefit of my GDS suffering friends and family as for yourself]