h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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I think that the only problem with being considered 'different' is that this is often associated with there being something wrong with being different. Like the example Della gave about her group being uncomfortable sitting with the deaf woman and then saying that by her behaviour she isolated herself. Unfortunately this is a very common reaction to people who are not just like us, who have special needs or who take extra effort to be with.

I see nothing wrong with acknowledging someone's differences if this is done in order to understand them better. We are *not* all the same, imho, and I think learning to accept and feel comfortable with our differences would actually help us to recognize our similarities.

az

Similarities are taken for granted; invisible almost. Differences that you can see are easiest to cope with. Differences that you can't see cause the most unease.

"Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying."

That's hard when you're deaf; it's harder still if you're not.

Noggin

Hi Noggin good to see you back.

"I think its unfair to say "reinforce" the isolation when they are merely standing up for their right to be different and not advocating any and every surgical procedure available or pushed by pioneering/experimenting doctors."

There's a world of difference between not advocating risky surgery and ostracising and verbally abusing a parent who wants to give their child every advantage they can.

I'm asthmatic- and I would not hesistate to cure any child of mine of asthma is the risks were not too great for the benefit. Where there have been pioneering efforts in artificial limbs for amputees, or attempts to help the paraplegic walk, there has been no outcry about destroying a culture. This phenomenon is unique to deafness, AFAIK.

Deafness is a disability, it is a disadvantage, and it's nonsense to try and say it isn't. It does not mean that deaf people are not equally valuable members of society. Denying a child a procedure that could well make their life considerably easier in order to safeguard a 'culture' they're not currently part of (because they're too young) is morally indefensible.

Thanks, blicky. That's appreciated.



Noggin

<<"Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying."

That's hard when you're deaf; it's harder still if you're not.>>


That was quite poetic, Noggin. I'm not sure if differences you can't see cause the *most* unease but I think I know what you are getting at. For example, if you are legless and in a wheelchair this tells people straight away what your 'difference' (at least your main visible difference) is.

But people who are somehow emotionally handicapped (I don't mean serious mental illness) can look quite healthy and functioning on the outside but it's like they have no emotional legs. Or something like that.

I think because I happen to be one of those 'emotionally challenged' marginal weirdos that I usually feel quite at home with people who are different. Whether they are blind, deaf, physically or emotionally handicapped in some way or whatever. I think having spent most of my life on the outside looking in, so to speak, I tend to see the similarities rather than the differences.

The powers of observation.

az

It's nice to be understood.

Noggin

I don't see that being possible, but all the people I have worked with recently, have had the ability to decide for themselves. Strangely, I think it should be up to them.. even though many of their parents think they shouldn't even be allowed to choose their clothes!
As far as those who can't decide (too young, or too disabled) definitely no surgery! But intellectual disability is (mostly) different from deafness - although I know two people (one with Downs syndrome) who are middling to profoundly deaf. Downs syndrome people mostly have an intellectual capacity at the 'high end of the scale' if I can use such a normally unacceptable bit of shorthand...

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You misunderstand, azahar. I did not say Angeline isolated *herself* at all. Her isolation was imposed on her by circumstance. She had two interpreters who unfortunately weren't there during breaks (the Ministry of Education didn't pay enough to have them overlap with each other). This was at the start of the course, when none of us knew any sign.
Things were different by the end of the year, but even so, for myself, I'd choose (if I had to) blindness.

BTW, I have to reiterate that I have worked with people with (various) disabilities for 30 years. *I* do not marginalise, ignore or denigrate them, and I don't know know az, how you got the impression that I do!

I didn't get that impression of you, Della. I didn't say that about you. I made a reference to people having difficulties understanding or feeling comfortable with people who are 'different'. You mentioned at the beginning of a course your group felt uncomfortable with this deaf woman. I said that is often the case with people. I didn't single you out or say you marginalise, ignore or denigrate anyone. Okay?

az

Whatever. (Regarding the abortion thread, I have to say, you *did* warn me to stay away, I can't say you didn't - but you didn't warn me about others...)

Whatever?

And I didn't warn you to 'stay away' from the abortion thread. I asked you off-thread if we could try to maintain an understanding between us that objections to things said are not intended as personal insults.

az

Okay. I don't want any conflict, but I do get cross at being misunderstood.

Della,

Actually I was trying to clear up *your* misunderstanding of what *I* had said as you posted that I had said things about you that I hadn't. And also that I had warned you away from the abortion thread, which was not the case at all. I was not, and am not, attempting to create any conflict between us. Quite the opposite, in fact.

az

I have known many deaf people and they would be most upset at being called different or disabled, they do everything 'we' do, so why are they considered different

although driving with a deaf person could be called a life changing experience<laugh.


what does AFAIK mean?

AFAIK - as far as I know.



az

this has been bugging me for a bit

Helelou,

I know what you mean about deaf or blind or otherwise disabled people not wanting to think of themselves as 'different'. And I think the point I was trying to make earlier was to not think of 'different' as having any negative connotations attached to it.

A friend I once had in Canada (who was blind) once said to me that from the first day he met me he was amazed at how I just treated him very naturally and like he wasn't 'different'. But that wasn't exactly the case. I was of course very aware that he was blind and so when we did stuff together I knew it wouldn't be like going out and about with a non-blind person. Perhaps what I didn't do was overcompensate or feel like his disability was anything unusual. He was also furiously independent and always wanted to do as much on his own as possible. So Doug was pretty 'different' - in many ways. As are the most interesting people I know.

az

Not quite sure how we got here from the original topic!

What we shouldn't do is categorise people by their disability & assume that they are all the same. Apart from having different degrees of impairment, they will have different personalities & experiences that shape them, as we all do.

That neatly takes me on to say that we shouldn't assume people of a certain religion or belief are all the same either.