h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An article in this morning's Observer about being single:

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1136122,00.html


How many of you are not in a relationship? Do you find there is some sort of stigma attached to this? Do your friends and family (or yourself!) think that being single means there is something *wrong* with you? Do you think it is possible to be happily single?



azahar

Yes you can be happy single, although you can sometimes get lonely.

My best friend is "happily single". But then he's a looker with money. He likes it.

i am single, have been a while now and i am very happy with that gives me chance to do stuff. that article mentions that some people just prefer to hang out with friends and chill at their own leisure, that would describe me well. getting a partner would take up time effort and money

Why has that post been removed, what did they say wrong as i never read it?

whoever it is must be on pre mod as it never actually appeared

Oh i see! I think the worst part about being single is when you have no one to converse with at night.

It hasn't been removed; the researcher who posted it is on premod so his posts don't appear until after they've been seen by a moderator.

Sure it's possible to be single and happy, so long as you're not actually socially isolated.

Noggin

Thats true Noggin

It seems to me that what is often considered to be the 'plight of single people' - LONLINESS - can also happen, and I think frequently does, within relationships.

az

I'm also curious if the idea of a social stigma is 'really' real, as stated in the article, or if it is just 'media' real.

I've never felt any social pressure to be in a relationship. I've been married before and have had other serious relationships. Perhaps when I was younger (now I'm 47) I felt a bit of social pressure that made me feel that unless I was in a relationship I was some kind of loser. But this social pressure was never enough to force me into behaviour that didn't feel right for me.

I've come to a conclusion that being happily not in a relationship takes as much work as being happily in a relationship.

But I do have some single friends who seem almost obsessed with finding a partner, and some married friends who sometimes seem to find me threatening. As if being a (usually) happily single person is an affront to their marriage? Curious.

az

With a score of 107 I appear to be very quirkyalone.

http://quirkyalone.net/qa/quiz.php

most of my friends are in relationships, they do seem to go on about when i am eventually gonna find a partner. i also had a taxi driver ask me what was wrong with me when i told him i was single and not particularly interested in having a girlfriend
so there must be a small amount of stigma but i suspect it comes only from those who are actually in a relationship.
it is just another way for society to group people perhaps?

I'm single, and quite relaxed about it. I've been in relationships before - some intense, others less so - and the one conclusion I can draw from the whole catastrophe is that there's no point in rushing into these things. One of these days I might get to stop being a bachelor, but I don't believe I've met the right person so far... I've come very close, though. The last one was the best one, but there's a good reason why the relationship failed. This individual is now my best friend, and that's an outcome that pleases me. The relationship failed for reasons that neither of us could control, and which can't be resolved. (Cryptic, I know, but there's a clue at A592148 for anyone who's curious. Essentially, the other party is a charming and witty eccentric who will never be able to make an emotional commitment.)

Anyway. Though I would have liked things to be different, I might as well just take Life as I find it. I'm not lonely; I think I'm not 'selfish' in living alone; I'm more or less self-reliant; and I get to leave stuff lying around without causing inconvenience to others.

Loneliness, for me, strikes when I'm in a crowd - perhaps at a particularly grim party - and I realise that I have nothing in common with the people around me. Usually this happens when people are talking about cricket or rugby, or other things that fail to interest me at all. Nothing to do with my marital status or lack thereof.

Ivan.

ooo er, i'm a weird one:

Your score was 78. Somewhat quirkyalone (otherwise known as quirkytogether):
You are probably part of a mysterious group of people, the quirkytogethers.

hmm..personally, the problem has always been an internal one. but then i've got certain hazily defined psychological issues that make it hard for me to be alone. problematic, since i'm an introvert .

Croz,

I scored 109, but for some reason the little window with the entire 'explanation' wouldn't let me see the whole thing.


Ivan,

I quite frequently feel lonely in group situations. I have never been a group person. And the times I feel lonely when I am alone . . . to be honest I do always have options. To call a friend and go out. But it somehow seems that my 'lonliness', when I feel it, is for someone I haven't met yet. And no, not a 'romantic prince charming' fantasy thing. It just sometimes feels like a part of me is missing and that somewhere out there someone else has that part I need. Which I can live without, and even quite happily. But something tugs at me sometimes and creates a form of lonliness that has no immediate cure.

az

Very quirkyalone - Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world.



Sounds about right for me, been single for well over four years now and wouldn't give up the friendships I've made over these years to tie me down to one person, but a significant other who wants to be or already is in the group would be nice.

hi Croz,

<>

Oooooh, I really like the sound of that!

az

I got the same response with 105...i seriously doubt i'm doing anything of the sort