h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've always been single (mostly by choice) and am mostly happy with that. There is a bit of pressure from people of previous generations, who assume that I ought to be 'courting' by now (25), but I just tend to ignore it. Ditto to the much more subtle pressure from 'the church', as it's full of single women and married people, but very few single guys. St. Paul was single (though I think for different reasons than me, as he seems somewhat anti-women sometimes), so I can be single too.

I am glad that I share a flat with a friend (also single) at the moment, as otherwise I could get quite lonely, I suppose. Of course, we can keep ourselves to ourselves if we want to, but there's company there as well.

David

105 - which is probably quite good as i seem to be stuck as a single.

I do feel that their can be some stigma to being single (in the uk) but i have never really let myself be bothered by the opinions of others (yes i make look odd going to the cinema by myself but at least i can sit and watch the film in peace.

I suppose that i don't really want to stay single, but i have had some bad experiences recently (i'm currently waiting for a divorce) so i suppose being single is fine, it's just that it can be hard to be alone not having someone to cuddle and someone to chat to at all times.

Still, such is life!

Onwards and upwards, whatever will be will be (and any other trite littlesayings you feel like insering)

This is so going to you all off - I got a quirkyalone score of 107 (ie very quirkyalone etc. but happy with it) and, err, how can I put this, I've been living with the same lovely man for the past six years. Umm. Which I suppose means if he runs off with a Bolivian Biker I'd be happy as a clam regardless.

Strangely or not so strangely I thought of you when I was reading this article. I call it az bingo. I read the observer in bed after walking the dogs and try to guess which articles you will start threads based there on.

Anyway I got a score of 103 and I have spent most of my adolescence and adulthood( if I qualify as one) single partly out of choice and partly because of my choices.

I have never looked for girlfriend since my late teens really I like to let things just happen and have never given up much to make a relationship last (and never asked for the other person to give up much either)

A lot of my friends were so craven and Ive seen so many people stay in unhealthy or downright harmful situations just to avoid singledom. Yet I resisted all the hearts and flowers stuff because I knew I couldnt fake it for long and didnt want to be stuck in a relationship that was more sham than champagne just for the sake of being in it. Part of the problem for single people can be well meaning and sometimes manipulative or both with a bit of jealousy thrown in, paired up friends who apply varying degrees and styles of pressure to get others to conform. Maybe the opposite sex in the relationship wants you in a couple so that their partner isnt led astray by you. They want a nice stable situation with a wheel at each corner not you by your self throwing things of balance or showing their partner how much fun they could be having if they too were single?

The worst is the late night canoodling. You wouldnt be so direspectful as to be on holiday with a friend and start eating your lunch in front of someone with no food. Yet people sometimes think nothing of doing stuff best kept for a room at inappropriate times. Very odd are they trying to show off, show you what your missing? Who knows but it made me certain I would never make anyone else, even if it was accidentally, feel that sort of discomfort.

az bingo???

Okay, okay . . . this is maybe the third or fourth time I have started threads after reading the Observer on Sunday morning.

But it was Croz who posted the quiz from the quirkyalone website - I only read the article and thought people would find the topic interesting.

az

*wondering why blicky thought I would pick that particular article*

hi Lizzbett,

*az hogs the thread*

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That's a valid point, I think. That often living together might end up not quite what you expected or wanted. And you can't really have it both ways. Though I remember after ending living-together relationships that there was a wonderful sense of relief and freedom about HAVING THE WHOLE BED TO MYSELF.

Now, of course, the bed often feels kinda big and empty.

I think I'd live with someone again though. The cats are wonderful company but they never help with the washing up.

az

My 2 cents: it is up to you. I've met singles, who were happy singles until they travelled, happy singles until they were old and ill, happy singles who desperately wanted a partner.

Happy married or non-married couples living their own lonely lives...

I guess it is up to you. You cannot count on anybody to make you feel happy unless you do not want to be happy.

It's like boredom, it's created by yourself.

Humans are social. They need company, but it does not have to be a marriage. For me there are three things you are needing and expecting from another person: caring, friendship, and sex. If all of them occur in one person, you are lucky.

Helena

I must say that while I agree with much of the article, and certainly with the main sentiment, I don't much care for the term "quirkyalone". To me, the word "quirky" implies something not quite normal, something not necessarily bad, but just *off* somehow. The thing is, it's just as normal to be single as it is to be part of a couple. "Quirkyalone", in my mind, is yet another apologetic, negative label. It's not that I'm *violently* opposed to it, I just don't identify with it at all. I prefer to the BJD route and refer to myself as a "singleton". No negative connotations there.

Myjo

'Singleton' is a *much* nicer term than 'quirkyalone', I agree.

For my part, I refer to myself as 'me', or if I must have a label, then it's '[insert RL name here]'. I'm not keen on being categorised, and the state of my personal life is no business of the general population.

*thinks - maybe this means that I really am 'quirkyalone' - a willing member of no group or category at all*

It's all rather confusing, really.

Ivan.

I don't even like the term 'singleton'. Reminds me of Bridget Jones. I only posted the 'quirkyalone' term because it was in the article.

How can one be a 'willing member of no group'?

az

Difficult, I know. I must have dropped my grammar somewhere. Let's rephrase it - 'I am not a willing member of any group'. My presence here contradicts *that*, I know... What I'm getting at, vaguely, is the fact that I'm not keen on 'groupthink' in general.

This isn't my day for making an enormous amount of sense, obviously. I'll put something in my journal sometime in the next 24 hours, which might explain any dodgy thinking that appears in my posts.

Ivan.

Ah, as I've been told my English would resemble a comic European American accent, I am always happy to find one who should know better admitting he made a mistake. Now my question: what was wrong?

hi Canicula,

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Even two out of three is hard to find.

I sometimes wonder how long marriage will continue to exist as a social institution. I'm not being cynical, it just doesn't really seem to be taken seriously anymore. And is it actually natural to want to live with one partner for all of your life? I'm certainly not the same person I was in my twenties (or even last year). And how likely is it that another person is going to grow and develop in the same directions as you over a period of thirty to forty years? The people we either know or hear about who are still happily married after this length of time together seem to be the exception - so why is a 'happy marriage' still the ideal for so many people?

az
(realistic romantic)

Bumped into a fiend who recently got married and she told me she was pregnant. I said how nice it was and well done.

"welldone"
"well just trying to sound vaguely interested"
"shut up" was accompanied by the deserved and expected dig in the ribs

Alison is a nice woman and very good friend who I hold in high regard in every area I can think off. I dont pity her I rather envy her, her amazingly huge streak of optimism. She has one failed marriage and a string of (not so secret) affairs for both her and her ex behind her. Yet she smillimgly gets back onto loves roulette wheel again.

I have no disrespect for those who throw in back what fate gives them back for their gambit and gamble. I do have massive admiration for those who can grit their teeth to put up with some bad times for the greater good though, its not something Im sure I could do.

Christmas is a little like marriage it can be good it can be bad, what has changed from the past is that now people can put weddings on the credit card too and even if you dont like the one you just had you can now clear your debts save a lttle and hope this years will be better than last. Only the wrapping paper on the presents is different.

one love

hi blicky,

I wasn't thinking that people would stop partering up, just that marriage as it exists today might end up changing.

az

partnering even . . .

az

When they first wrote '...till death us do part...' that death was only expected to be 15 years down the line anyway


110, oh well

I sometimes think that there's a trend in the modern world to regard all relationships (including marriage) as arrangements of convenience, rather than of obligation and commitment, though it may just be that I've reached "the age of nostalgia."

Noggin

I think christmas is barely recognizeable to what it once was and *meant* like wise marriage, but I think it will endure because people will keep the element they like and add in new ones they prefer. Look how many people are clamouring for the right to get married.

Smugness aint pretty, but Id love it if gay marriages ended up lasting better than straight marriages do at present. What sweet irony that would be.

one love

sorry, just noticed this . . .

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az