h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sooner or later, pop culture references can hijack any thread.

A cats desire for attention is proportional to the business of its owner.

No it ain't - it's 'Heil Hitler', but only the end, so it's "'tler"

"I was woking pist your cafe this moaning."

TV shows can get better 'in memory' even if people stop watching them in great numbers.

where is the fallen Madonna with the big bubbies???

When rock groups/stars advertise their 'Farewell Tour' they forget to precede it with 'First'.

When same said groups do this, they will inevitably release a "greatest hits album" that is exactly the same as the Greatest Hits album they released 10 years earlier except with one additional song.

Any "Tell us a joke" or other humour thread has at least 75% duplicate entries.

Any "Tell us a joke" or other humour thread has at least 75% duplicate entries.

F

There's always some smart Alec...

F

Every office / workspace has a 'Know-it-all' (Cliff Claven).
The most annoying thing is you sometimes need them.



On any bus there is at least one very odd person...
If you don't spot them it's you!

Alec is a rare name, so finding a smart one, even more special.

When something is 'on offer' in the shops it will be sold-out by time you get there.

If there is a bargain to be had, you buy it, decide two would be a neat idea, forget it, no more stock!

After making an expensive purchase, say a kitchen (units/sinks/cooker etc. etc.) half-way through installing it... There will be a sale of upto 50% off the marked price. You'll never be sure if returing your purchases and re-buying them will work.

Things that are being 'thrown away' often end-up in peoples garage for years and years first.

Many garages have old kitchen cupboards fitted in them for storage, of such 'rubbish'.

Every household has at least one 'junk drawer'.

If anything is ever removed and discarded from this drawer, no matter how many years it has sat in said drawer remaining compleatly useless, it will be direly needed one week later.

There will always be someone who will misunderstand 'sucking-diesel'!!!

Must be a kids thing

Or indeed someone who's never even heard of it.


Drinking water fountains in public toilets or in parks never *ever* work.

People can scratch any part of their body without making a sound...until they scratch their head and feel compelled to say "Oooh,,,itchy 'ead".

Something you threw away years ago is now worth money as a collectible

The word 'pillage' is only used when discussing vikings

The last thing you will forget from your school physics lessons is that Richard of York gave birth in Venice

90 percent of junk mail recieved on hotmail involves the word 'enlargement'

Every office has a 'Far Side' cartoon pinned to the wall somewhere.

Lifts in multi-storey carparks always smell of pee

Champion sports stars just defeated will always be asked by presenters "Were you surprised by how good your opponent was" to which they will answer "No, I knew how good they can be"

"The last thing you will forget from your school physics lessons is that Richard of York gave birth in Venice"???


Explain this one. Some bloke named Richard gave birth??!! And this was taught in Physics class? Who cares where it happened.

I think you had a different curriculum than I did.

Lifts in multi-storey carparks never work!!!

Richard of York gave Battle in Vain was the way I heard it.

Funny how I can still remember it