h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the 80s, when computer magazines had listings of programs you could type yourself, you could guarantee that the listing had a missprint that wouldn't be corrected until the next edition.

On school trips to France, you could guarantee that someone would spend the whole of the ferry trip being sick over the side.

If your on a cruise, some geezer will unapologetically cut the buffet queue.

Re Posting 201.

Sorry, I am one of those guilty of this - I had a few listings published in Your Computer in 1982-ish. I was absolutely convinced they were OK when I posted them. It's just too easy to pick up the undebugged version and post it.

For ZX81 owners, typing in a long program was a finger numbing experience.

On a hot summer night, when you've finally found the perfect postition to sleep in where you're not too hot and you're comfortable, you then hve to get up to pee!



I'd like to disagree with the Julie Andrews one.



You can stand at a bus stop for an hour but the bus wont come until you've lit a cigarette

If you really fancy something particular to eat, you won't have it in the house and the shops will be shut.

You always say "Oh dear" when you've finished really laughing.

If the barstaff in a pub/club drop a glass, the customers will cheer and clap.

Doctors will poke an injury and then ask you "Does that hurt?"

No one sits next to the person with visible tattoos/piercings on a bus/train.

There always more adults than kids on a bouncy castle.

The male PE teacher is always the most fancied. At least 1 person in your class will fancy an english teacher.

The videa will eventually chew up your favourite film, even if you don't watch it that often.

You can't wear white clothing without spilling something on it.

Pensioners will invariably push you out the way to get on the bus first, often hitting you with a stick/frame and not apologising before sitting down and complaining about 'the youth of today'.

Religious types who knock on your door can't take 'no' as an answer.

Everyone has tried to do a Micheal Caine impression.

Cds only develope scratches when you play them loud enough for the world to hear.

No one looks like their passport photo

Girls/women always go to the loo in pairs/groups

Train journeys were exciting when you were a kid, when you grow up they're just hell.

Algebra has no use in day to day life but it seems to be the largest part of the maths curriculum.

You always forget what you were going to say until its too late to say it.

Your printer will always break/run out of cartridges the night before you have to hand in a essay or some other very important piece of work.


Buying size 12 mens shoes is a task of epic proportions, why do all shoe shops only go up to 11. (insert Spinal Tap joke here)

When you were young you did a martial art for a little while.

You wish you'd kept a diary when you were younger

(For men) you can remember when you couldn't reach the lowest toilet bowl in the gents.

You hated doing bases in maths at school and thought they were 'silly'.

There is something old in your house you are convinced could be worth something but never bother finding out.

In 'Secret Santa' at work, somebody will always get 'comedy' underwear

Despite it being an English tradition, you don't know anyone who is, or has been a morris dancer.

Tea is delicious, and biscuits are delicious, but a biscuit dropped into a cup of tea renders the last cm undrinkable.

Although he has appeared in over forty films, you can name only one film with George Lazenby.

>> Although he has appeared in over forty films, you can name only one film with George Lazenby. <<

Yes! Kentucky Fried Movie!

RF

"Despite it being an English tradition, you don't know anyone who is, or has been a morris dancer."

Umm, I do

A double-whammy of facts-of-life failure!

Don't worry Spinks, I've been given edible undies by a secret Santa.

Yep. I've built up a nifty collection of elephant-trunk thongs.

Internet ads for dating agencies always have a picture of a blonde female with blue eyes who has probably never used the dating agency (or any dating agency, for that matter).

...and related to that...

All the girls on saddo chat lines are bombshells only wearing frilly lacy see-through undies...not!

Shatter my illusions, why don't you?

RF

But I AM a bombshell wearing frilly see-thru undies...

this scares me if it involves, as i think it does, vaseline? please tell me it doesnt and if it does WHAT THE HELL KINDA TEACHER WOULD TELL A KID THAT MNEMONIC????

any way nack to

THE FACTS OF LIFE

every body at least once in their life has seen mary poppins chitty bang bang and wizard of oz and even if they deny it, they know at least one song or tune from one of said movies

I'm 25, and even though I'm big fan of musicals, I didn't see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang until a few weeks ago... But I did already know the title song and the marvellous 'Posh'. Wizard of Oz I saw at the age of 20 or so, and Mary Poppins is a childhood memory.