h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

himura - Fear not.It doesn't. It goes back to the days when loos were outside, and if you needed to go in the middle of the night, you probably used the chanber pot under the bed. A large enough jar would serve the same purpose

but david b-san my post was correct (for once)

thank you wondr'n ill sleep tonight.... my overactive imagination

himura_musashi, your post was indeed 100 per cent correct, but I was very nearly an exception - would have been if you'd posted last month!

I don't have any facts of life to post. Except:

You always remember your umbrella on the day you could have done with your sunglasses.

But that's not a very original thought, is it?

thanks dave-san some technically you could use your bumbachute as a parasol although youd look very very odd


"You never know how much you love some one until theyre gone"

Or as the Tony-winning show 'Avenue Q' would put it:

"The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them."

One from the Fast Show: there will always be a man in a leather jacket with a Japanese girlfriend walking in the road at Camden.

Victoria Wood fans always look like Victoria Wood.

Bellybutton fluff is always blue.

99 percent of Christmas Carolers start with "We wish you a merry Christmas...."

Discussions on the rate of rain forest distruction always include the words "the size of Wales".

When a Rolls Royce or Ferrari goes past someone will shout "Dad!"

Most people call Old English Sheepdogs "Dulux Dog".

Fact o' life: H2G2 will be relatively normal then some tw*t will come along spouting that he/she is the second coming/going to take over the world/that we are all goingto burn in hell/etc.

deviating a bit to say


"mutter mutter jerrys to the left mutter mutter bayonet mutter mutter get em lads mutter mutter arrrrrrrrrggge mutter mutter and he forgot the let go of the grenade mutter mutter booom!!! mutter mutter and i was very very drunk"

Everyone knows a girl/woman who looks sweet and as though "butter wouldn't melt" but is in fact an absolutely nasty bitch.

Ahh Spinks... There's an idiom: "Life's a bitch, then you marry one." - *Add's allegedly, supposedly.* Or is it: "Life's a bitch then you die." One or t'other.

History teachers always have bad hair.

All women have an "I think I'm fat" gene.

You can remember a time at school when the chalk went squeaky and everyone cringed.

Noisy kids always get on my train carriage.

Every Sunday football team has a player who is NEVER injured and a player who is ALWAYS injured.

Spinks, I think it's more true to say, "Every school has at least one teacher with bad hair, usually the History teacher". My History teacher had immaculate hair; the teacher with 'bad hair' taught Physics.

And not all women think they're fat. Although I am probably the only size 16 woman in the world to look in the mirror and see the figure of Kylie Minogue attached to my head, so maybe that makes me the exception that proves the rule.

People who drink Diet Coke always claim it's because it tastes nicer than proper Coke. And then eat a packet of crisps whilst complaining that they never seem able to lose weight.

There is always an inextricable kink in a curly telephone cable.

Mol

Oooh... the phone cord thing...

I HATE that. I have something close to a compulsion regarding twisted phone cords. If I see one twisted all up so that what was a 10 foot cord is rendered the equivalent of a 1 foot cord I straiten it. I don't care where it is... I've done it to phone cords in public buildings I know I'll never set foot in again and will never use that phone... I just hate to even see it. I used to work in an office that had an extra long phone cord on the main phone I and a couple of others used and after answering the phone and pulling the phone of the desk one too many times I developed this obsession... I wonder if anyone's started a step program that could help me.

I'm the same, in fact I can't stand twisted up cables of any description. Others seem oplivious to the necessity of untwisting cables.

When I moved into my partners place a couple of years back her lawnmower had a cable so tangled up that it had actually fractured the sleeving on the cable itself and was pretty majorly dangerous.

pretty majorly? thats damn dangerous...

...whenever you get a gf/bf,even if you look like me, ppl always seem to want to go out with you, you drop the ball and chain and everyone's repulsed again...

If it's a cold summer someone will jump in and say "aha! Global warming!". If it's a hot summer someone will jump in and say "aha! Global Warming!"

As well as every time there is a storm and also in Winter

Call centres in TV commercials always have staff that are permanently smiling.