h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Why do people in the UK still refer to 'pavements' when a lot of them aren't paved any more?"

Here's the dictionary definition of "pave" from Websters:

1 : to lay or cover with material (as asphalt or concrete) that forms a firm level surface for travel
2 : to cover firmly and solidly as if with paving material
3 : to serve as a covering or pavement

So pavements still fit that definition. Either way, the word "pavement" has become a unitary concept divorced from the concept of paving anyway. We walk on it, so it is a pavement, regardless of whether it's paved.

And it's a nicer word than "sidewalk"!

DictionaryMoose

Well, the article is from a Canadian Magazine, and the stories are from Canadian (generally).

Here, one is not supposed to park on the sidewalk.

I recall earlier this year when Mom and I were driving down Bank Street, one of two main shopping streets in Ottawa. I parked and went in to the bakery I frequent. While I was in there, Mom witnessed a man drive up the wrong side of the street (is is two-way, but he was driving on his left, rather than his right), run right up onto the sidewalk, park the car (blocking the entire sidewalk), he and a friend got out and started unloading two very large, but empty suitcases in front of a luggage shop, and then he tried to open the door to the shop, which was closed, and it was not yet 8am. They stood there for a moment, loaded the luggage back in the trunk, and backed back onto the street and, still driving on the wrong side of the road, drove past My Mom and around the next corner. Why?

God only knows. Since there is amply parking on the street, including right in front of the shop, there was no need for that production, parking is only a quarter, and it was obvious that the bags weren't at all heavy.

I've just recently started working in a charity shop and you wouldn't believe the amount of old garbage we get that we can't sell... We got a load of bags of second-hand underpants (eww, can't sell those obviously) and when I got to the bottom of one of the bags, having thrown out everything else already, what did I find?














Someone's old manky FALSE TEETH!

Acckkkk!

Though, I have seen places that sell used false teeth for people who can't afford to have them custom-made for themselves. Still..... Ewwwwww.....

"A user brought in a rather dirty Sony VAIO system to get a new power supply. The thing was dirty and beat up. He set it on the counter, and the side panel popped right open, and the thing was grubby inside. We saw one little tiny bug scurry out of it, and we killed it.

The system was brought in back to the garage, to clean it out. The thing was crawling with bugs -- there were over twenty inside this thing, including cockroaches and others I didn't even recognize. We doused everything with antiseptic and killed as many as we could. Then we popped in the new power supply. Just as we brought it out front, one last roach crawled from underneath the old supply and scurried into the new one, making it his home.

When we told the user about the amount of bugs (and charging him a little extra for our trouble), he said, "Well, I'm not surprised. We had this thing out by our kitchen." Egads."

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_abuse.shtml

From observation... I was on holiday and visited Hay-on-Wye, otherwise known as 'that place full of bookshops'. I went into a shop called 'Bookends' where all books are one pound or less. It says so in the shop window, it says so on notices by almost everty shelf: "Ignore all other prices, all books one pound". And yet I overheard several people saying 'I don't know if I want this for 5.95', 'This one's a bit expensive' and so on. And they weren't joking!

Hay is 1 of my favourite places
Did you visit during the Festivel?

Sadly, no, but I still gt loads of books for not a lot of money!

Always worth a visit

I don't know if you have ever seen Chris Lachapelle's comedy show. He does a great take-off on a training film for employees of a copyshop, called Popcopy. It is "loosely based" on the American chain Kinko's which is notorious for its bad service. You can see parts of the Popcopy video here: http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/chappellesshow/extras.jhtml (look for the "Popcopy Punkass Outtakes"

For a comparison, check out this guy's experience at Kinko's in NYC.
http://www.stevehofstetter.com/obhutemplate.cfm?ID=4

I may have posted this long ago, up near thebeginning of this thread. However, I just came across it again.

Librarian Avengers: http://www.librarianavengers.org/worship.html

I Work With Fools: http://www.iworkwithfools.com/

I used to work in a bookshop.

Customer: Do you have any books?

Me: Can you be more specific? What kind of book are you looking for?

Customer (looking dazed): Oh, you know, just fiction or non-fiction.

Me - can't speak anymore as have strangled myself in order that I don't have to deal with the idiot customer.

Oh, and regarding pavements, I vote for more so I can play "Step on the crack, break your mother's back".

I (usually) avoid the cracks.

My mother's back trouble has never affected her vocal chords anyway.

PB,

I'm sure you have also had the customer(s) who comes up and says "I'm looking for a book?" (A question not a statement...)

"Yes. and what is the title?"

"I don't know."

"Okaaaayyy. What is the author's name?"

"I don't know."

"What is is about?"

"I don't know."

"Well, it IS a lot easier to find a book if we know the title, author, and subject..... Where did you hear about it?"

"It was in the paper."

They usually can't remember the name of the newspaper and/or the date and/or the context of the article.... and then they get upset at YOU because YOU can't pull the book off the shelf immediately.

When I worked at Chapters, I often got "I thought you carried EVERY book!"

The best one was the woman who came in looking for a computer book. No author, no title, no subject, but it was "a standard in the industry".

Then, of course, because I didn't have a degree in computer science, I was a complete idiot. "How did you get this job when you don't know the books?"

"Riiiiight! If I had a degree in computer science, would I be working in a bookstore for 7 bucks an hour? I may not have a degree in computer science, but I do have 15 years experience selling books which tells me that you are an idiot...." (under my breath, of course)

You do begin to wonder if any of these people can actually read anyway!
And then of course, there are the junkies...one managed to fall asleep standing up while pretending to read an autobiography. It was a fairly amazing feat. We were mesmerised - will he fall? Will he wake up? Will he just lie down among the bargain paperbacks and start snoring?

This is a wonderful thread. It's taken me a week to read my way through it and now I'm going to stick in my tuppenceworth as well.

I used to work on the Stranraer to Larne ferry. Since a lot of places in Britain don't accept Irish money, what we did was give it out in change on the way to Ireland and vice versa with the British stuff on the way back. Good system. No problem.

Until I handed this chap some Irish coins in his change.

'I don't want this! It's Irish!'

'Er...yes, sir. It's Ireland we're going to.' (Just in case he hadn't noticed.)

'I'm not taking Irish money!'

'But we're going to Ireland, sir. It's what they use across there.'

'Well, I'm not. I want British money.'

This conversation went round in ever-decreasing circles until I finally gave up and let him have it. God knows how he managed when he actually arrived there. I hope the banshees got him.



aq

Gotta love the tourtists...

We used to get 'murican tourists who just didn't "get" foreign money.

I'd have a handful of change thrust in my facr "How much is this?"

"Um... 72 cents, Sir?"

"No, how much is it worth?"

"It's worth 72 cents, Sir"

Now, he's getting frustrated... obviously I am stupid beyond understanding "NO. How much is it worth?????"

"I'm not sure I unsderstand, Sir. You have two quarters, a dime, two nickles, and two pennies. All together, that adds up to 72 cents."

"Ah, know Thaaaattt. How much is in in 'murican money?"

Speaking as slowly and clearly as I can... "Sir, it is worth 72 cents."

I am guessing he might have wanted an exchange rate for his 72 cents, but 1) I am not a bank 2) he had Canadian change and he was in Canada, and 3) he was a moron and morons just shouldn't leave their house, let alone their country.

We used to get people who would want to know "what the prices are in". In other words, they wanted to know what currency the prices were in. Again, the "moron factor" was in place. I would tell them that, here in Canada, our prices were in Japanese Yen.

And then, of course, there are the ones who want you to tell them how much a 2.99 book is "in 'murican." "It is 2.99 Canadaian, Sir. I have no idea what that is in American."

If they got upset, I would simply tell them "This is Canada, Sir. We use Canadian money. That means our prices are in Canadian. It is up to you to bring along a calculator and work out the rate of exchange, not me."

What particularly galls me is that, here in Canada, even stores in the most remote place will usually accept US money, and have cash registers that work out the exchange rate. However, when you go to the US, rarely is Canadian money accepted. While that is fine, it really burns me that Americans visiting Canada expect you to accept American money without batting an eyelid but act like you are a criminal because you accidentally included a Canadian penny in your change when you are in the US.

You have my sympathies, Mud. (Enjoyed all your posts btw.)

Cheers,
aq

I thought I would ressurect this thread with a "Cheapo's" mention....
I was at a party the other night and got into a conversation with a co-worker. We have worked together (though not closely) for the entire time I have been working for the Department but this is the first time we have really talked. He mentioned that he is "leaving in a few months". Apparently, he is leaving permanently, and leaving the country. "Where are you going?" asked I.

"Texas." said he.

"Oh! Where in Texas?" asked I.

"Austin." said he.

"Hey, I know someone in Austin!" said I.

"Oh. Perhaps I know her (of him)."

We laughed....

I said, "Well, since I don't know his "real" name, I guess we'll never know."

Several minutes later, it occurred to me that if he knows Austin, he'd know Cheapo's. I mentioned this and he just about fell off his chair and gushed and waxed nostalgic about Cheapo's and said that he had even applied for a job there some years ago, when he was in University.

Small world, eh?