h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where's my sign?

Yes, but why is it that the assistants in electrical stores NEVER ask you if you need help?

I susspect that they did when they were first employed until they encountered someone who asked:

"Yes, does this DVD player have 5.1 output on a seperate channel, or combined with the video feed, because I've got a sub-woofer that only accepts between 21-54 MHz and I need to know, plus can the software be upgraded and can it be region code zero without having to pay for it, cause let's face it, it's pushing a few buttons and changing the software setting isn't it, unless this is hardware specific, which is unusual, but not unheear of."


My friend and I used to play "Torture the assistant" at PC World. This was when the PC World employees didn't know what they were doing. We found one of them with a crowd of five people around him working in Windows with a DOS box opened, trying to change to the C: drive. He kept typing:

C


And getting

"Bad command or file name"

And kept saying

"I can't understand why this isn't working...."

My friend and I beat a retreat to the other end of the store so we could burst out laughing out of ear shot.


PS for the non-computer literate, the correct command is "C:". It's the first thing you ever learn, not doing it is like trying to wedge drinks coasters inth the toaster instead of bread and wondering why it sets itself on fire.

I feel very sorry for staff in electronics stores - many here in NZ work on a lousy commission - plus, they have to know stuff!
The one time in the last two years I ventured into a womens' fashion store (I was looking for a *skirt*, why that so hard to find? Trousers everywhere, at the time, for about 18 months!)I was so intimidated to be swarmed by sales assistants, and one in particular who kept urging me to remember her name and bringing me more, and more unsuitable garments (not her fault the chain had decided that everyone wanted trousers that year).
Then she had to go off to a meeting, and reminded me again of her name. I later learned that I would have ben asked (if I'd bought anything there) for the name of the assistant who'd served me and the sale would be credited to her.That's what they lived on - no salary. I saw one woman never leave the register - how did she manage?

Surely there's laws against that, though? They would have had to get some base wage, even if it were beneath minimum and they had to make it up with commission...

Wage laws aren't the same the world over. Here in the UK there has to be *some* basic salary, even if it's minimum wage and the bulk is commission. Other countries may not be the same.

In my experience if you're young and female you can't so much as walk past an electronics store without getting asked if you need help. Even more fun when you know more about electronics than they do

But from working at a very large chain retailer, it's maddening when you're walking through the store to take your break and get stopped by three or four customers who need help, because honestly, unless you catch someone who actually works in that department, you don;t really have any chance of getting help. I was only there for one summer, and I worked cash register, which meant that they taught me absolutely nothing about the rest of the store.

It was a toss-up whether to post this here or in the "No grinching allowed" thread.... so I decided to post it in both places:

"Just in time for this weekend's season-opening St. Nikolaus holiday, labor unions are pressing stores to stop the incessant playing of carols, denouncing the practice as "psychological terrorism" that grates the ears of shop employees.

Rieser wants shops to limit carol playing to one hour - 3 to 4 p.m. - to give workers a break. "There's no sense in playing 'Softly Falls the Snow' in the sausage department," he said." http://www.azstarnet.com/star/Sat/31206BlueChristmas.html

Aye, Mudhooks, I never thought of the effect of incessant carols on shop staff... Although outside our local supermarket (within hearing of the checkouts) is one of them ride-on thingies, playing 'Noddy... do do do do de de de de Noddy ' all day long. I certainly notice it, but I suppose the checout operators manage to block it out.

We had had incessant Christmas music for the two or three Decembers I spent as a Saturday boy in a local department store. I didn't have it as bad as a friend of mine though - this was the year after Slade's 'So Here it is Merry Christmas' was no. 1, and it had just been rereleased. Some bright spark at the (now defunct) chain of electrical goods store he worked for had decided that it would be a good idea if Slade was played all day, every day from December 1st until Christmas Eve

I already told you my tale about working in a store where they played "The Chipmunks' Christmas" day in and day out for the whole Christmas season. They also had a "special" on garbage bags impregnated with this chemical which repells animals. Most people don't seem to notice the smell. I, however, do. It is a horrible, stomach-churning odor.

I either had to find someone to do anything which required me to be in that aisle, or breathe deep before racing in and out of the aisle to retrieve an item. Thank God they don't seem to be around anymore.

My mother used to spray our couch with this same chemical. It permeated the house and she never seemed to remember that it made me sick. "You never told me that! I can't smell anything!"

It gets rather sad when, having been stopped, asked if you needed help, asked a question they couldn't cope with, they start asking you about their own products.

It's even worse when you can overhear a shop assistant in a large electronics store telling other customers blatantly wrong things. This is where having a good knowledge about everything on the shop floor is very difficult, so they are very likely to only cursory stuff abouthe less peopular things. I usually end up saying I've got one (I'm a tech-loving geek and my boyfriends worse, and has the income to go with it or frequently my friends have them if we don't) and saying what I do and don't like about the item.

>>if Slade was played all day, every day from December 1st until Christmas Eve<<
Oh no!!!!!

Nothing I like better than going into a shop and being blasted with some rap number which is beginning to end obcenities.... and we aren't talking clothing stores for the ange-range and social strata to which this sort of music might induce shopping.

The newstand in the lobby of the Government/Bank building where I work, for instance.

>>The newstand in the lobby of the Government/Bank building where I work, for instance.<<
That's just !

On Sunday, Richard and I stopped at a local cafe/patisserie. All we wanted was a couple of coffees, but it took ages to get them because the person in front was the customer from hell. The food and drinks available are clearly listed on large boards behind the counter, and the food (mainly cakes with some savories like sandwiches and baguettes) are clearly visible in the chilled cabinets that make up the counter. However, this customer wanted things like toasted sandwiches or freshly prepared sandwiches, neither of which are served in this place. The serving staff were all youngsters who didn't have a clue how to deal with the customer, and there obviously wasn't a manager present for them to turn to.

It put me in mind of something my Project Management lecturer once said: "The customer is *not* always right." In fact, IMHO, there are times when the customer wants a good slap.

I question your use of the phrase "there are times" in your final sentence!

We daren't play anything with a Parental Advisory sticker on the storeplay at work - the owner is too frightened of a lawsuit from a parent with an eye for a lawsuit and a quick buck. I know I've already told you here about the parent who wouldn't let their kid have a Petty Booka CD because it was called 'Let's talk Dirty in Hawaiian' Texas is full of people like that - the right wing moral majority, and they'll sue at the drop of a hat.

*Drops hat*

OUCH!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! MY FOOT! I THINK YOU BROKE MY FOOT! Is that your hat on my foot? I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!!!

My lawyers will be talking to your lawyers

When I worked at Chapters, we would have all these "art" books with really tacky erotic art, and "photography" books with what most of us saw as child pornography. We had to carry the things, but no one wanted to buy them. Sure, they wanted to look at them, they weren't above coming in every day to sit in a corner poring over the books, dogearing them, or stealing them into the bathrooms, and hiding them under potted plants .... but buy them? No way.

I got tired of having to write off porn cds after people stole them, and having to put the most disgusting ones (and I am talking REALLY disgusting) out on the shelf where kids would see them after the manager refused to let me send them back, even when they were sent unsolicited by the distributor. The manager was a complete git who wouldn't deal with complains from justifyable outraged parents, but was too afraid of questioning "corporate policy" to make an executive decision.

So I made one. I would take the really offensive ones and hide them on top of shelving units in the depths of the basement until they could be sent back.