h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He probably really enjoyed that nice chewit you conveniently left for him.

That is what you get for using liver-flavoured bookmarks....

On another note... My friends and I went out for dinner at a local Mexican "theme" restaurant. Food is good in a sort of "we make the suces in huge vats and freeze them" sort of way. Oue server was "Sierra" (we weren't sure if this was actually her name or a pseudonym as some restaurants do to protect them from overly-friendly male customers or lawsuits).

Unfortunately, Sierra was not the world's greatest server. she got all our orders mixed up, despite our having them on separate bills, didn't know the menu or the ingredients of the food, and when we got our bills, had gotten items from one person's order on another's bill which the then left us to figure out rather than going back and giving us corrected bills. The best bit was when one of the girls asked "What fruit is in the Fruit Cobbler?"

She looked the menu over several times, hummed and hawed and said "Gee, I don't know... ummmm, maybe melon?"

Gosho hasn't been around in a while.... I miss the "Tales from the CD Shoppe".

Gosho's only working there two days a week now and consequently doesn't have too many new tales to tell

Well, when I say I mean that it's not good for the thread, although it's perfectly and for my sanity

I am enjoying the thread revival though

'What's Gosho doing for a living since he's not working full time at the CD store?' you may well ask... Selling stuff on eBay is the answer, and there are just as many muppets there as you'll find in a shop, like the person who was top bidder on a shirt which they wanted to take on holiday and who sent us the cheque by priority mail, but never thought for a moment that we'd have to wait a week for it to clear before we could send the shirt, then complained like billy-o after she got back from her holiday where she wasn't able to wear the shirt.

First off - think of all the possibilities before you go leaving things to the last possible moment.

Second off - there are bigger issues in life than not being able to wear what you want when you go on holiday to your sister's.

Then there was the bloke in Germany who bought a CD and wanted it sent by surface mail (average time from Texas to Germany 6-8 weeks), then filed a complaint for non-delivery against us after a fortnight

THERE you are!!!

Yes. The old "I ordered this two months ago!"

"Actually, our records show that you ordered it on Friday..."

What was it someone was telling me about someone having ordered something "two weeks ago" just the other day. I will have think about it and post it.

I haven't darkened e-bay's door since they removed my posting to sell my Birthday Suit. Sure, someone can sell the snow that fell in their year or moonbeams, but I can't sell my birthday suit? If you clearly read the information regarding the sale, I included personal delivery and, if the customer wasn't entirely satisfied with the item, they would have all their money returend with the exception of the transport costs.....

I think I can understand why they pulled that one though... can't you?

How much was it ? Can that item be shipped to Belgium ?

I had a manager at the local store (mainly newsagent) I worked at during my sixth form days who was embezzling the chain the shop belonged to. He and his wife left suddenly and left things so that the finger of suspicion about this pointed at another employee. He looked somewhat like Basil Fawlty, which was somewhat distracting for us all.

I also get a lot of the "why hasn't my book/thesis arrived yet?" after two or three days as well. The typical conversation goes:

"Where's my thesis? I ordered it ages ago."
"You ordered it on Friday. I'm sure it's on the way."
"But I need it for the essay that's due in the day after tomorrow."
"We do always say to allow two weeks for an inter-library loan to arrive."
"But my friend got one after three days!"

There then ensues a long discussion about the different suppliers of the various types of material we get, the vagaries of the Post Office, etc. etc.

Most stupid question I've been asked this week:

"How long can I take a 7-day loan out for?"

How? How can higher education students (and staff) be so stupid?

For reasonable facsimile of the Birthday Suit (mine has seen more wear, has had a few repairs, and needs a thorough ironing and airing): http://www.famousartshop.com/venus.jpg

My brother's dog ate my jumper and it was my brother's fault! (But that's just by the by)
I once worked in a computer store and on my very first day of work I turned up at the appointed time, which was actually halfway through the weekly staff meeting, and interrupted the boss explaining that someone had been sacked (and charged) for stealing stock and if anyone else was found to be involved the same would happened to them... and welcome to our new starter, please turn up half an hour earlier on Tuesday mornings.

It was all a bit awkward but just like the jumper not my fault.

I once answered an ad in the paper for a sales job at a men's clothing store. The womna gave me an interview on the phone, and then told me to come into the store and meet with the manager and herself.

The morning of, which was also the morning of Chuck and Diana's wedding so I had been up since something like 4 am watching it, I trundled in to the store and asked to speak to the manager. He seemed mystified as to my presence.

He asked "Did you answer an ad in the paper and talk to a Mrs. So-and-So?"

I said yes.

... and he, rather rudely considering the fact that I wasn't the person at fault, said "Mrs. So-and-So doesn't OWN the store and hasn't for 15 YEARS, but she thinks she does and keeps putting ads in the paper for staff we don't need. I'm getting SICK of it..."

I'm surprised he didn't have her arrested!

Hmmmm, I've always rather liked customers!
But I do have this friend who is a crazily angry till girl! You know who I'm talking about redser!

you could get her to be proscuted for this. it is falsh advertising.

It's my job and I'll if I want to.
if I want to.
if I want to.
You would too if it happened to you.
(do do do do do do)

Oops nearly wrote dod instead of do do. Wouldn't like that would you helly?

Two words for ya:
unemployed jockey

What the HELL are you talkin about?
I am not a .... ok no wait a second the penny just dropped.
Damn I'm quick.
I think we're ruining this thread for everyone else with our tangents.
Why don't you tell the nice people about the man who rocked back and forth?

Are you talking about Mr. Nolan? Cos that was anti-schizophrenic medication, and was not the poor man's fault!
Otherwise, who rocked back and forth? I can't remember, there's been so many...

I love the ditty!

Speaking of craxy people... there was this really annoying man who used to come on to use the internet. Since he didn't know how to use a computer let alone this internet, it was a trial.

He used to come lumbering in (wearing shorts that were WAY too tight) and got to the computers. Then he would start yelling for help. Apparently, he was trying to start a business on line. However, he didn't have a website... didn't know how to get one, and couldn't "find his email"... didn't write his password down or his email address..., and wanted to know how to "find the Tower"...

The Tower?... What exactly this "Tower" was, I have no idea because he would tell us. Just kept saying "You know! The Tower... The TOWER!"

One day, he came in after he had had an "accisent in his pants"... yes, the too tight shorts.... We had to get the manager to get him to leave.... Brrrrr....