h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did someone post this here? http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/canada.asp

I saw it somewhere yesterday. Forgive me if you've seen it before.

You are forgiven my child

Just point North.

Great! Now we'll have all these pseudo-Canadians running around the world giving Canadians a bad name. From what I gather, the least of their problems is having to talk US politics. They've been hated the world over since WWII, and now they can pose as us, act like Americans, and it won't be safe for a real Canadian to travel outside Canada. A few places The Kid went in his travels in Scotland a few years back people offered to beat him up till they saw the Canada flag on his jacket.

There ought to be a law!

Is it all right for me to pretend to be French, then?

You could pretend to be French Canadian! Unless you meet a real one... *No one* understands a Quebequois like a Quebequois understands a Quebequois. A near perfect disguise as only the Western English Canadians and Parisiennes are likely to mock you!

Paul H:
You'd probably not give us a bad name - after all, you're chatting here and could probably pass for a decent Canadian. I'm referring to the loud, know-it-alls we sometimes see, if we can't avoid them, during tourist season. There is one thing. As soon as they said "aboot" everyone would know they're not Canadian. I've been coast-to-coast, and never heard anyone say that. Sure, pose as French. Just remember to wave your hands around alot. I've had good French friends over the years, and have nothing against them. I just wish they'd stop trying to tear my country apart.

BB, I agree about the aboot. What has been pointed out to me, however is the very subtle pronounciation of about we Canadians have. More like *abowat* but much, much less pronounced. USians tend to say a less pronounced version of *abaat* IMHO, of course...

I've noticed that some New Zealanders think we say "aboat".

I could pretend to be a *Parisian* French person, as I am told that I look vaguely German or Belgian. I wouldn't try to tear down anybody else's countries. That would be like throwing stones when you live in a glass house.

I wouldn't do that in England... the French, Germans and Belgians are a bit of a sore spot.

French, well we fought them in the Hundred years war
German, 2 world wars
Belgians, the home of the European Union... (Nuff said?)

But then again, I think they all hate us too, so don't pose as a British Citizen either

One can't even, safely, pose as a Norfolk Islander any more, after the recent court-cases.... What's left?

I suggest they make up a country, If no one's heard of it, they can't possibly be accused of doing anything bad, by anyone, anywhere.... Poifect.

Hows about posing as an animal. It could save the effort of making any conversation at all!

Do what I do. Pose as a drunk. (kidding) Nobody cares where you're from, then. Or, if they do, they simply pick the country they hate most and blame your presence on that nation.

However, if you wanted to try a Winnipegger disguise, there is one peculiar verbal trait I've noticed. There is a type of swearing I've heard nowhere else. Every time I have heard it, I ask if the speaker is from Winnipeg and I've been right 100% of the time. Instead of incorporating "F**k" into your sentence, put it at the end, without a suffix. At the risk of getting Yikes'd (or even worse, offending a real person), I'll try an example:

Vulgar Non-Winnipegger: "I've got a f**king headache."

Vulgar Winnipegger: "I've got a headache, F**k."

I'm sure I've left a wonderful first impression. I should point out that the reason I have met so many vulgar Canadians is former military service.

Trust me when I tell you that that trait is widespread. I recall riding the bus one afternoon a few years ago. The guy in the next seat was regaling his friends with a story in which the F word was used in every possible form from verb to noun to adverb... it was really enlightening.

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They're your cousins, though.

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And the French are your cousins, too. Pretty much everyone in the English-speaking world is descended from the Duke of Normandy (aka William the Conqueror) who ran France *and* England for quite a while after 1066. William, in turn, had Viking blood as well as a bloodline that reached back to Charlemagne, Old King Coel, Julius Caesar's cousin Julia, and ultimately to the founding of Troy.

But I guess I'm drifting away from the topic, assuming there was one in the first place.

In Iowa, they use the word "anymore" in place of "nowadays" or "these days". "I really like going there anymore..." or "I am eating more and more fish anymore."

Rumbleghost: You're absolutely right! I never really noticed that till you pointed it out. And I've met that particular speach pattern because I'm forced, for the time being, to live in Winnipeg.

A certain state I've been calling into lately, they say time like *tam*. How in h*ll do they ever know what they're talking about? Is it time? or a hat?

Just another little note on the definition of Canada:

Canada is the Tlicho agreement (almost) http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/12/08/tlicho-dogrib-bill041208.html

A2963775

What kind of state are you in when you make these calls?