h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like the can't find page message, after all, I wrote it

Cafes that put your paper napkin UNDER your food.

Plain stupid.

PP.

They're not napkins, they're cheap doilies.

There's a twitter feed called We Want Plates (@wewantplates) that you might find humorous.


Recent cafe obnoxiousness includes putting food in miniature shopping trolleys, miniature frying pans, and the ever trendy planks of wood.

Sometimes a napkin will be under one or more parts of these "presentation" methods.

I dislike the wood planks too - stuff falls off the edges. Doesn't seem very hygienic either.

Well, the good thing about things like wood cutting blocks is that wood has natural antimicrobial effects. After a few moments, most harmful bacteria is gone on wood. Much more hygienic than plastic cutting boards which need to be sanitized after and between uses.

But still, there is likely to be bits of some previous customers meal remaining behind.

A couple of summers ago, I watched a waiter try to deliver rapidly melting ice cream on a bit of warm, flat slate.

PP.

I had a Sunday roast delivered on a plank once. I asked when ordering for a plate, was told it'd be fine. Turned up on a plank. I sent it back, and the waiter was huffy about it. I think mostly because he then got covered in the gravy going everywhere on the way back into the kitchen as well as the way out of it.

On the other hand, I have had steak on a hot metal plate in Japan & that was very good!

That's 'cause Japan does everything awesome!


(Except for overworking themselves to death...)

Dare I mention chips arriving in little buckets?

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A restaurant near me learned very quickly I didn't want my chips in a bucket.

I'm usually very placid about these things, typically English, don't like to complain, but there's something about food not arriving on plates or in bowls that winds me up.

I'll take a bucket over a shopping cart.

http://www.famfriendsfood.com/2010_05_01_archive.html

so I'm guessing you've all seen the full english on a spade?

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CBbjesEW4AAzkjj.jpg

If I was ever served on a shovel, I would walk right the hell out. No words spoken. Just walk right out the door.

Whatever happened to chicken in a basket? All the rage for a while in the early seventies, chicken, scampi, sausage and chips, served in a wicker basket thingy, lots of pubs did it, nice relaxed way to eat actually but probably not the healthiest diet, still I reckon it could be on for a comeback. I really don't like sauces in those annoying individual polythene packs, well I like the sauces but it seems such a waste, and you never know what to do with the pack after you've managed to open the stupid thing, cleaned your fingers, and squeezed out your tomato sauce, HP or mayonnaise, or all three, (I've seen it done). I've even seen vinegar in little individual servings, it's about a shilling a gallon, what's the point? Salt and pepper as well in individual little packets, daft.

Oh, here in teh South (US) you can still get plenty of fried food in baskets. Granted, they're usually plastic baskets, but just the other day I had a fried catfish basket. That's fish filets, fries/chips, and hushpuppies.

I know times are getting hard, but they're making you eat shoes?

I was puzzled by 'hush puppy' too - did you mean 'Slush Puppie'? The number of times I've seen the Slushpuppy SP logo, read it as '5p' and thought 'that's quite good value for coloured ice' only to discover they're really charging over £1

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I've just googled them and it seems they are small, savoury, deep fried balls made from a cornmeal based batter.

Deb