h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know the feeling.

I view every update for google software with considerable dread given the propensity of someone out there to play games of 'button, button, where the freeping blazes have they hid the bleeping button this time and how have they disguised it?', thinly disguised as exercises in redecorating fever.

Pity they haven't any sense that their compulsion to inconvenience is costing them in the commercial market.

I'm frequently reminded of a quotation from Petronius Arbiter:

"In my youth I found that as often as the organization I was working for seemed to be falling into a productive routine, a reorganization would follow.

In later life I found that a matvelous device for producing confusion, inefficiency and waste, meanwhile creating the illusion of progress."

Petronius' full title was "Arbiter of Good Taste", under which he officiated at the revels of the court of the Emperor Nero, as master of ceremonies and chief bouncer.

That is a very apt quote from Petronius. I'm the same that I was just starting to get the hang of things at work as I had done everything once - the second time I did each task, I could do it more quickly as I didn't have to learn it first. The powers that be then decided to have a reorganisation, so that they would look like they were really productive and making a difference, so we're back to square one having to learn everything before we can do anything...

The story of my life! We used to have standard ways of doing things - then they decided to change the rules arbitraily after the fact so we coud do it all over.

Works so well

F S

Like handling a half wild house cat, you feel it starting to put its claws out preparing for a leap, you rotate the cat slightly, forcing it to recompute its trajectory, the claws retract reflexively.

The cat starts to extend its claws again, you put it off balance again, etc.....

A very apt simile... I've already been metaphorically sprayed with water twice for doing the "wrong" thing, as have most of my colleagues...

PH: Forgetting what I'm doing.

It's not my birthday until the end of the month, but I think I've got to that "old" age when I keep forgetting what I'm doing.

Apparently I was born old.

Welcome to my world. I'm not old, but there have been times when I've got up to fetch something and forgotten what I wanted in the time it takes to cross the room! My excuse is cognitive problems associated with MS. It's either that or early onset Alzheimer's, which doesn't bear thinking about.

My current Petty Hate is neurogenic pain - pain that isn't caused by trauma, injury or disease. Right now I have a burning sensation on my upper!ip for no reason. It's another facet of my MS. It's a petty hate because I know it will pass. It's just irritating while it happens.

Back to the subject of forgetting what you're doing. I use two different shampoos when I shower, an anti-dandruff shampoo followed by tea tree shampoo. Never the other way around. Today I reached for the tea tree shampoo first. As I don't use the anti-dandruff shampoo second, I used the tea tree shampoo twice. I don't have a problem with that - I used to use tea tree shampoo exclusively. I'm just irritated by the break in my routine.

Supposed to be good for the brain to change routine.
I find I brush my teeth in a certain pattern, it's very hard to do it any other way.

I just realized I brush the four quadrants of my teeth clockwise, starting with upper left. But I floss counter(anti)clockwise, starting upper right.

Forgetting what you're looking for when moving from one room to another, that's something that's occasionally affected me since my teenage years.

Of course, I grew my first white hair (just one, on the back of my head on the left) when I was 17.

Its kind of like forgetting where one parked one's car in a parking lot.

One unconsciously takes one's cues from other vehicles and by the time one returns, some of them are gone.

Consciously taking one's bearing from fixed objects helps.

I find memorising the number of the parking space helps. Fortunately my forgetfulness hasn't affected my memory for numbers (long or short term) yet.

Speaking of finding your car, I have a car alarm with a key fob. Some would call this a "remote", but it's not very remote at all. It's a nearby. More than a few car lengths and it doesn't work. It's better than the one I just replaced, it only worked basically close enough to physically touch the vehicle. This one will work from maybe 15 meters away, 20 if I use the trick of placing the key fob under my chin and using my skull to amplify the signal. (This actually works, I tested it.)

I got confused in a car park where I can sometimes get in on level 4, but more often 5 & sometimes 6. Each floor is colour coded. Went up in the lift, convinced I was on level 5, green. On arrival at 5 - mauve - thought I'd made a mistake, went back down to 4 (green). Car not there, had to go back up to 5, where I had parked.

This PH is two for the price of one: supermarkets and mobile phones.

When walking around supermarkets its quite common to see people going from item to item describing what they see on the shelves to some out of sight other person. I'm sure there's a multitude of reasons why this is done, but its annoying as hell to see people at least superficially incapable of making a purchasing decision on pretty much anything in the shop.

When asked by a journalist if he made any bad decisions during WWII Patton said something like, its a General's job to make decisions and history's job to conclude if they were the right ones. Surely families could adopt a similar policy to a supermarket shop, therefore cutting out the need for long, puerile phone conversations about it....?

Alternatively, discuss and make a list before leaving for the supermarket.

I often phone the wife because I've forgotten what I've come to the supermarket to buy.

Do you describe to her each item on each shelf so she can decide what you buy?

Also, what did you do when you forgot what you were going to buy at the supermarket before the arrival of mobiles phones?

I suppose the answer to that question should be, you can't remember

That reminds me...At the supermarket on Friday I saw a man in the "ladies products" aisle on the phone asking "What kind of box are they in?" while staring at a row of liners. It made me laugh inside a little, but also it nearly made me offer to talk to the person on the other end for him and point him in the right direction That stuff can be confusing enough for us women. Mini? Extra Long? Ultra Thin? WINGS?

I didn't, of course.

Deb