h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who go off to lunch 20 minutes before they're supposed to take over from you on the desk and say they'll only be 30 minutes... What, so I can have a shorter lunch-break myself? Oh, thank you very much.

People who assume I know which book they are looking for before they've told me, and who get narked when I ask them for the title and author. Weirdos.

Ooh! Ooh! I did that once! A friend of mine was looking for a book, only she didn't know what it was called, or who it was by, or the title.

It was Bill Bryson's "Mother Tongue".

Ahem. Sorry.

The 'clunk' a vaccuum cleaner makes when it's sucked up something it shouldn't have and you have no idea what it is.

I have Dyson, so at least i can see that expensive camera battery whizzing around..

Carrying furniture.

It's not the carrying I particularly object to, more the implication that it wasn't fine just where it was.

Tiny Dogs.

They just ain't proper dogs.

It's true.

People who assume that because I am female and under 30, I can't possibly be the person who can help them with their enquiry (despite being the only person sat at the Enquiry Desk) and instantly demand to see someone who CAN help them. They don't even beging to ask me the question. They assume at once.

Ooooh, shiver of rage.

Oooh, down girl Have a cup of


Did someone mention Blue Vauxhal Astras? Oh yes, that'll be me...

Thoses funny miniscule little hard bits you get in cheddar cheese when you first open it. What are they, and where do they go?

cellophane on cds - why?, i always get so frustrated trying to get it off i invariably break the cd case or a nail - argh!

The bog-standard or clear plastic cd cases - all those little plastic spokes that invariably break off in transit, fall under the cd and scratch it to ...

I hate when there's cellophane on the CD anyway, but they still stick the Price Tag or the (includes the #1 hit...." bit that's impossible to take off, inside the cellophane on the cd case itself!

I'd like to extend that petty hate to anything that seems to be made to prevent you from opening it.

Cartons of milk, prepacked bacon, celophaned video cassettes, tiny weeny individual milks, wine bottles with those new synthetic corks, edam cheese etc.

Especially the bacon.

People who are rude and obnoxious for no other reason than circumstances allow them to be. I just started working in a cinema in Manchester and last night I was on the till selling hot dogs and popcorn etc. Just because of the job I have to be very polite no matter how abusive or awkward a customer is being. I had this one girl who ordered a huge number of things and then when I rushed around getting them complained that in the meantime some of her items had gone cold and made me change everything. Then she tried to pay with a dodgy credit card. What a bi*ch

Working at 9pm at night when you were supposed to have started your holiday at 1pm in the afternoon.

Oh, I know what you mean about that lass in the cinema, many years ago I worked for a fast food establishment, and got customers like that.

"My burger is cold"

"That's because it's been sat on the counter for ten minutes while you've had your tongue stuck down that cheap trollops throat."

That response never seemed to go down well. Can't imagine why.

People (at college is where I've seen them, but they probably exist everywhere) who get themselves so drunk they can't do anything but throw up, then go and drink lots more. Though I can't understand it, I at least can deal with people who get drunk enough to make fools of themselves in public, but why, why, WHY get so drunk that all you feel is sick, and then drink more?