h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who mess about at work when they don't have anything left to do for the day, distracting me (who always seems to have plenty to do).

Guess that's the price you pay in an open-plan office with 50 others...

Anyone mention Bill Gates on this list yet?

Or Microsoft?

Or just buggy software?

*Young children who invite the whole class to parties and leave one or two children out. OK that's a 'big hate'

When role models - such as ex-Spice Girls - answer questions as though they think people can't survive without their little pearls of wisdom.

Adverts with babies sitting on toilets shown at meal times.

Chain e mails.

Not knowing if it's Email, e-mail, E mail, E-mail, e mail or what.

People who move next to airports, football stadiums etc. and then moan about the noise.

People who think that endless clips of young children falling over is comic genius on 'youve been framed'.

I make it email. Can't be bothered with fancy punctuation in this case.

Those email quizzes people fill out about themselves, and make them chock full of in-jokes to people you don't know, and bad jokes (which are shown by multiple exclamation marks).

The presenter of You've Been Framed. A limp script and an occasional wink does not make you a comic genius.

Those plastic covers for A4 paper. I swear they deliberately make them one millimetre narrower than A4.

Those silly dance routines the BBC have before their programmes.

Ooohoooo yes and they have to be politically correct, you could almost sit there with a notepad and cross off.

"bad jokes (which are shown by multiple exclamation marks)."

Just multiple exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!

It doesn't make what you're saying any funnier!!!!!!!!!!

If you need more emphasis, learn better words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to say this is a big moan about the IMDB:

It's a fantastically comprehensive site, but so few of the profiles have bloody pictures on them.

This has to be in my top ten.

Why do the BBC constantly constantly insist on peddling this 'Eastenders: everyone's talking about it' nonsense? I've just heard it said on the Snooker of all places.

Constuction that causes long distance paths to disappear. I was cycling a short stretch of the Trans Pennine Trail today (short compared to its entire length, was still 25 miles) and just around the M60 the track disappeared. They were doing some work on a bridge and had taken up the subway the Trans Peninne Trail uses, totally blocking it. I can't imagine how someone who'd come from Hull thinking they were nearly at the end would have felt

My sympathy.

For me, 'old' pronounced 'owed' annoys me.

Trying to scroll down my list of favourites and accidentally dragging a favourite to a different location.

People who assume that you - like themselves - are clinging onto dreams of winning the lottery as your only hope for a good future.

Showing an enquiring mind about something and being told by some idiot to 'get a life' or 'get out more'.

That stupid 'fcuk' joke thing that was mildly funny the first time.

People who assume you have a hidden agenda when you pay them a compliment.

The condescending use of the word 'sad' other than for the meaning to be upset, ie 'you're SAD' with a shake of the head.

The way alot of male engineers/shop staff whatever insist on asking to speak to another male about the connection of MY tv/dvd etc. I may be female but am quite capable of connecting all these things so they work, unlike the guy who came to replace my cable box and wired it in wrong so I couldn't record anything!

Anyone who thinks that because Im female I cant possibly understand the 'offside' rule, lift something heavier than a tissue, change a plug/tyre/fuse in my car, understand the technical inplications of anything, change a light bulb or anything else that they may be doing/talking about.

My biggest petty hate this week is Samsung!! I've had a tv from them for 7 months and in that time Ive had to call out 2 engineers and its been in the workshop and about to go in again. Its worked properly for about 3 of those 7 months! If they can't make tv's that work then maybe they shouldn't bother trying!

Ok, Im done... for now

Even referees don't understand the off-side rule now

The current Marks and Spencers food advertising campaign.

"when I die, I want to come back as a M&S fruit salad (or something)"
Yeah right.

And the universal presence of:

- Sultanas
- Peppers
- Olives
- Anything that can be relied upon to go soggy and taste bad

in M&S food to show that it is 'classy'.