h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Didn't the Greeks also ban the plural of Euro (Euros) as it's the word for urine?

I'm not aware of this (the pronounciation would be different enough anyway), but who knows

Yes - after the original suggestions of Ecu and (I've forgotten the others) the final decision of "Euro" caused much hilarity in Greece.

Or so I heard.

Camping for me is being in a tent and desperately needing the toilet at 4am, running about in splints, then not being able to find it in the dark and going to the loo in a bottle.

PH: Those stupid ads running in NI using the voices of what i assume are Belfast kids (they certainly sound snotty enough to be them) and they're animated. Something to do with why you shouldn't start fires I think. Bea might know the ones I mean.

Yep, I know 'em, yep, they're snottery Belfast kids, and yep! They're inclined to grate on the nerves...

I've not been brave enough to camp since girl guides. Shorts, flip flops and a pac-a-mac is the quintessential British summer outdoor look

PH: flip flops. Uncomfortable and impractical

PH: the sound flipflops make.

DPH (Double Petty Hate): the sound flipflops make when worn by people who drag their feet when they walk.

(TPH)Triple Petty Hate

The sound a one legged person makes when they wear a flip or a flop.

I mean why Belfast kids? Surely they’re not the only ones who start fires round the place! Surely the usual fire brigade ones would do, even though I hate them to bits because fire terrifies me no end. Why not Tyrone kids, or Derry kids? Maybe they would grate a lot more then, I dunno! LOL.

PH: tourists. Tourists who don't give a hoot about anything or anyone but themselves. Argh.

Short answer? Government cutbacks - if they got Derry kids to do it they'd need to pay for an interpreter too!

Oi oi, lay off the Derry accent, like!

Interpreter indeed

PH: the family of water bottles which appear to be nesting in the bottom of the office fridge, and which - despite 2 reminders from me - seem to be permanent.

PH of the evening: assembling flat pack furniture.

Don't forget.

The parts labelled PD3/56 need to securely located in lugs 4R and 5L BEFORE you start the main assembly of the supporting struts above the castors.

Otherwise the legs fall off

I love assembling flat-pack furniture!

Bet you are one of these smart-bums who don't have 'spare bits' left over?

No, I do, but I use them to build other furniture

My PH for the day is people who think I'm simple. This one's kinda funny, but still. I had a guy on the phone, angling for information which I simply am not able to give him. So I made this clear to him, phone call ends.

Then, 15 minutes later, he rings again, putting on a different voice, and asking indirect questions around the same theme and trying to wheedle some info again. Seriously.

I usually manage to put bits in backwards when doing flatpack furniture... there are a couple of pieces around here that have nice bits of visible chipboard standing out against the veneer.

KB: *cackles* Ah, hell, the Derry accent? Here, try the Limavady one. I'm not joking when I say I had serious problems understanding my ex’s father a lot of the time. I know us Fermanagh ones are prone to slurring our words a wee bit but my god, at least I could make myself understood (read: my mother’s sort of English so pulling the English accent thing every now and then actually worked! As did just enunciating better). My ex had never heard the words “tetchy” (as in angry, annoyed) or “cop shop”. I'm not joking, the boy had never heard of a police station being called a cop shop before.

And any man’s father who yells at me for getting a bit upset over the fact I am disabled, broke and unhappy with what I'm NOT doing (especially when it leads to a wee bit of a breakdown because 1) I need to cry for a bit, I'm sick of pretending everything’s fine when it’s really not and 2) I really want to do what I'm not doing, if that makes sense), that man does not deserve the time of day.

We need an interpreter for most of the country, don't we?