h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Open drawers

Have you just banged your shin on one?
Ow.
I hate that, and stubbing my toe on something, like a doorframe, that is always there. Cos then you have extreme pain and the knowledge that you are an idiot.

I always know I'm an idiot...

Feeling like the day will never end.

That song "I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair"

It should surely be "I wish I was a punk rocker with safety pins through my nose and Sid Vicious' phlegm in my hair"

Flowers in my hair? That was the hippies!

Maybe it's a mixture? A Punkie?

Crap song, anyway.

I can look miserable. I can go a day without smiling. I can not greet people when they approach me. I can be utterly useless when asked for help. I think this qualifies me for a job in one of my local shops.

Bad day eh

Crisps with green edges. Thinking are they safe to eat?

And what about greens with crispy edges? How safe are they?

I wanted chocolate cherry tiffin and I picked up pecan brownie instead. Nothing wrong with pecan brownie but the sense of disappointment is quite big.
Hate trying to work out what this says about my life!

What if it doesn't say anything about your life?

Hmmm, that reminds me of a petty hate: people who say things like "You can tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear". Who needs Freud and masses of psychology volumes when you can just look at someone's shoes?

My shoes say I'm a masochist.

But a very stylish one.

My shoes say I need to buy new shoes...

My shoes say I don't like tying laces.

My shoes say "Help! Get us off these feet, they stink!"

Smelly Feet ewwwww


My shoes say that i am cute (seems to be catching on)

The word "wag"

Does your dog shake his tail then?