h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bigots, racists and foreigners.

And I hate people who hate bigots, racists and foreigners Or something

I hate typing case notes. They literally make me sleepy.

People who say 'literally' when the word is redundant in that what's being described cannot happen figuratively.

Or the ones who say 'literally' when they mean 'figuratively'?

"His cello playing literally set the audience on fire"

Unless the cello player had a robotic flame thrower that responded to his playing...

No, no, I was really falling asleep while typing. Literally was the correct word.

Pedants!

Say it loud: I'm pedantic and proud.

Minutes of staff meetings... being pulled from my desk to bloody well attend for over an hour and listen to drawn-out rambling discussion when there are far better and more pressing things I could be doing, and then having to type the bloody minutes afterwards! This all makes me feel like Elly with her case notes...

People who let fireworks off in the daytime. On the 13th of October. Why??

Wives who won't make coffee when they're told

10 minutes I've been waiting now

Husbands who won't make coffee after they've already gone and boiled the darn kettle! On their own initiative, no nagging involved, may I add!

Husbands who put the kettle on to make tea, then walk away while it heats. The kettle is then left to stand and the water goes cold again. Then, when the wife makes the tea, hubby comes in and says, "Hey, I was going to do that!" Well, why didn't you do it, then?

Wives who have to wait to be told to make coffee.

Drivers who seem totally unable to read my mind and predict what I'm about to do.

Cheerful Dragon, my hubby does that all the time.
And SWL, your wife loses the ability to read your mind the day she marries. Speak up when you want coffee, man!

Drivers who are sure I should read their minds and give them the right of way just 'coz they're cute or something.

People who, if their wife hasn't made coffee, don't just get off their arse and do it themselves. It's not rocket science, y'know...

Me, make coffee

You don't keep a dog and bark yourself you know

It's really not a complicated process... some of the devices involved (tap, kettle, spoon, etc.) can seem rather daunting to the inexperienced but you soon get used to it.

Or spouses who refuse to make coffee or read your mind while driving and leave the kettle to grow cold as they back out of the driveway. GRRRR!