h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She heard the beep. She said something like this:

Hello?
Hello?
Is anyone there?
(aside) I heard a beep but there's nobody talking
Hello?
Hello?

Repeat times five throughout the day.

This is what I would've done:

Hello?
I heard a beep so I'll leave a message in case it's an answer machine
(message)
Goodbye

But that's because you're a bright, intelligent, undoubtedly enlightened individual. You can't expect everyone to rise to your level, surely!

Well, no point in letting it bug me I guess. Whoever it was has probably forgotten about it by now anyway.

Why, hasn't she called again?
And you know, some people don't always get the answering machine dynamics.... maybe that was the problem.

Aye some people would rather grate their teeth than talk to an answer machine. They haven't called back.

Well, at least it gives you a chance to get annoyed with other things.

Yeah, like how come this forum's title has changed from 'petty hates' to 'pet hates'. I kind of like my cats.

Twas Wolfie what done it... don't know why.

pet hates. pah. when my son was about 4 we bought him a goldfish as his first pet. he called it Timmy. it lived in a bowl in his bedroom. on his birthday morning. his 5th birthday. it died. it was floating at the top of the bowl. one of the points of him having a pet was to teach him about responsibilty, how to care, how to nurture, and to learn all about mortality, that eventually all things die. but this is not a lesson he needs to be so graphically taught on his birthday. i stood in front of the bowl, hiding the ex-Timmy from his view, while my wife ushered him out of the room. them, later on in the day, when opprtunity arose, I secretly flushed ex Timmy down the loo, cleaned out the bowl, drove into the nearest town, bought another goldfish, came home, filled the bowl with water, acclimitised it, then, last thing before he went to bed, put the new tImmy in the bowl so it was there for him to say good night too. the next morning he came running inro our bedroom in tears. 'Timmys dead! Timmys dead!' first off i thought bloomin eck how did he know, how can he tell one goldfish from another? then, when i went upstairs i saw the new goldfish was dead, flaoting at the top of the bowl. all that hassle and the new fishy didnt even last the night. gah. pets.

(rofl) ah well!

A lot of UK music channels have suddenly started including a signing person in the bottom right hand corner of the screen after 12am. I don't understand why.

Is this a service for deaf insomniacs? Why do people with functioning ears have to watch a person waving their arms about when optional subtitles have been around for years? Why would deaf people be tuning into music channels anyway? What percentage of the population are deaf? Is it wrong to ask these questions? Is there anybody out there who is deaf and enjoys this new service?

I'm not deaf, but I guess they think people are more leanient after midnight.... especially those who are deaf and watch music channels...

What would the fellah signing do if the music channel is playing an instrumental track? or a track that has a looong guitar or drum solo, start dancing? or the bill and ted wyld stallions geetar?

Excellent! *air guitar solo*

They do actually make strumming motions during a guitar bit, and drumming motions during drum breaks!

I actually like signers (I think it looks quite cool actually - hence why used in the video for "True Faith" by New Order) - they had a signer for some repeats of "The Powerpuff Girls" on the Cartoon Network and she had such an excessive face and had such character she actually really added something to the experience of watching it - she was a star in her own right.

People who bring deodorant to work and then bathe themselves in it every time they get a little warm. Firstly if you *really* sweat that much try another deodorant, secondly I'm allergic to most deodorants and I'd rather not have to put up with your choking fumes making me nauseous when I'm trying to speak to a customer.

Unfortunately some people just sweat a lot - I know for I am one of them. In a way they're probably trying to do you (and the rest of the world in general) a favour and not stick of BO.

Yeah, but you only get BO if you let the sweat fester for a while... fresh sweat doesn't smell bad.

Someone I know, and he's not the only one, tries to drown showering once a week in half a litre of deodorand and/or aftershave.
Now, even before I got pregnant and turned into a blood hound (my sense of smell is unbelievable these days!), I hated this habbit of his, especially with him going to the pub, surrounded by a cloud of deodorant that's being spread through the house on his way.