h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why do these people have kids? Is it purely so they have something to bully that can't fight back? I don't really like kids personally but I still want to take some of them off their parents and give them to somebody who will nurture and care for them.

They're not as bad as the people who use their kids to over-achieve by proxy... Making sure your kid gets a good education is one thing, but spending money on a school you can't afford just because of some vague notion that it's somehow 'better' than a state school really gets my wick.

On principle, I hate those "baby on board - drive carefully" stickers too.

I always want to thank the car owner for telling me to drive carefully as they have a baby because otherwise I was planning to ram my car into their boot!!!

They're nearly as bad as those on a back bumper! I didn't know that cars practised Christianity!

But most of the time when you are driving behind one of those cars you end up shouting JESUS CHRIST, get out of the way!!

Quite apt really!

You've got to wonder what Jesus has been up to, if he's driving a car with a 'Baby on Board' sticker.









sorry

People with kids (and I speak as a father of three) think that they have some sort of dispensation to ride rough shod over the rights of other people. The desire to pro-create is inherent in most of us, but sometimes it is also mixed up with the incentive of child benefits, free council tax, a leg up the housing ladder and the more contemplative, far-reaching thought of support in old-age. I think that some sort of test akin to the driving test should be mandatory for parents and couples contemplating productive shagging.

People who say "Do I have to repeat everything I say twice?"

I normally reply "No, repeating everything once is enough for me"

People who say "There is nothing worse than (such and such an event)"

I can normally think of things that are much, much worse.

E.g. A T.V. chef said "There's nothing worse than opening the oven and finding your sponge cake has sunk in the middle rather than risen"

What about having rabid vampire bats gnawing at your skull? Or being in a plane crash and everyone decides to eat you? Or skiing down a steep slope and your skis turn into lizards and eat your feet?

Happens often does it? I mean the lizard thing, everyone knows what a pest those vampire bats can be.

Crazy Frog happens on a regular basis and that is bad . It's probably been said before but Crazy Frog and his almost as annoying mobile goons like that twittering bird deserve banishment to a particularly unpleasant hell dimension. Ok - in a world where in certain parts of the world you can expect starvation, torture and /or being blown up or blown away by gunfire then crazeee frog isn't so bad but it's still bloody annoying with no merits whatsoever - it should also be pointed out that some of the peeves such as bad drivers and cylists do risk the lives and limbs of others.

Whilst we are on the subject of bad parents - I think parents who use prams and pushchairs as a weapon to barge people out of the way quite often with the kids still inside deserve a mention in the hall of shame. Oxford Street is full of them on a Saturday.

That Dancing Teddy is starting to replace Crazy Frog in my hate list.

"Teddy is alive!"
Not if I get my bloody hands on him...

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I deliberately obsruct people like that. My way of thinking is that if you can't get past you have to be patient.

So, just because some people don't grasp the concept of birth control the rest of us have to suffer?

I am a parent. I do not have a child on board sticker in my car. I do not use my childs buggy as an aid to ram raiding others shins. I do not see my children as being a step up for me on the benifit ladder (benifit? what benefit?). I can appreciate how all of these traits could cause petty hatred in others.

But on the flip side of the coin is the ignorance, arrogance and ambivalence of some, for want of a better phrase, 'non-parents'. The people that do not appreciate the struggle sometimes of negotiation around shops with a buggy and do not do the courteous thing and move out of the way. The people that 'tut' dissaprovingly at a childs outgoing but innocent behaviour. Whats wrong with a kid asking continuos questions or playing hide and seek when waiting in a long and boring queue. Whats wrong with a child being overecited about the prospect of an activity, such as getting on a bus, that an adult sees as being mundane. The people who ignore children, the people who forget that we were all children once, and will be miserable complaining adults soon enough.

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I have to admit that I'm sometimes a teeny bit envious of that kind of innocence, where the most normal activity can seem like a thrilling adventure. Being an adult can be so dull!

Oh, to clarify my earlier post: I'll move if they've said 'excuse me' or something but if they just trundle along behind me tutting, especially when there's nowhere for me to move to - such as on a narrow pavement (I walk in the road for nobody and I haven't yet found out how to pass through walls) - or when they can get around me easily, then I'll just carry on regardless.

Mr D my tirade wasnt aimed at anyones single post per se, it's just that there seemed to be a theme of "I hate it when people with kids...." theme building up on here and I wanted to attemp to redress it. I was off work a couple of weeks ago being a house husband to my two and, I think that boh my kids and my parenting skills are good, they are not nauhty and I do not expect anything from anybody because of their presence, but I was mildly shocked to see how unhelpful and intolerant people sometimes are to people wandering around with kids. I don't like feeling that, just by the fact of me having children I am somehow hindering or causing undue distress to others.

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Oh, yes, I know... but your post made me realise that my post could be taken as "I deliberately stand in front of pushchairs and don't let them past ever."

Try sitting on a plane for two hours with a couple of little darlings in the row behind kicking your ass and when you politely request that Mum asks them to stop are told it's obvious you don't have kids. Too f**cking right, by choice.

Air travel would be a whole lot better and quicker if it was restricted to over 16's.