h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No no no. Socks disappear because they are insecure. They are like siamese twins in that a pair of socks is actually just one sock with a single personality. Think about it - there is no such thing as a single sock. They are always made in pairs. Socks do have personalities however, and when a sock loses one half of itself it is simply because it is not loved and wants some attention from its owner. And when does an ordinary pair of socks get the most attention? Either when it is damaged or when one of the pair disappears. And when it is damaged, the sock is thrown out! So it makes sense to lose one of the pair, then everyone will pay attention and probably will not throw out the remaining one in hte hope of finding its partner one day.

The moral is - love your socks and they will never desert you.

Well, whatever the case, I haven't lost a sock yet. At least not ever since I took care of them myself.

MAYBE WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE YOU ARE THE 'GOD OF THE SOCKS' WHO IS SPOKEN ABOUT IN THE 'BOOK OF SOCK'.
IF YOU ARE THE TRUE SOCK GOD THEN YOUR PERPOSE ON THIS PLANET IS TO CALL THE SOCKS TOGETHER FOR A MASS EXODUS OF SOCKS TO SOCK HEAVEN.
SOCK HEAVEN IS WHERE THE SOCKS GO THAT DISSAPEAR - BUT SOON THE TIME WILL COME FOR ALL SOCKS TO ASCEND.
THIS WILL TRIGGER MUCH GNASHING OF TEETH AND SORE FEET AMONG THE HOOMANS.
THEY WILL THEN MAKE A NEW GENERATION OF SOCKS.
AND SO THE ETERNAL CYCLE CONTINUES...................

OW!!! Don't shout!!!

3

Siamese twins only have one personality between them?

Good question! I should have thought of it...

No, you shouldn't have, because then you'd be stealing my job.

And what do you think *you* are doing now?

Bugger! OK - obviously siamese twins don't have one personality between them. But lets face it - we've filled this forum up with several weeks worth of discussion on SOCKS. Logic is not really conspicuous by its presence here is it?

Siamese socks have one personality between them. Just go with it.

Ah !

Now, this one I can DEFINITELY help with...

The socks don't actually disappear see; what happens is that the wishy-washy back & forth action you get in a washing machine sets up a vortex close to the centre of the bowl that actually creates a wormhole in space.

It just so happens that socks are shaped so that they can slip through the wormhole and reappear in your wardrobe as those nasty steel coat-hangers.

You've never bought any of those awful steel hangers have you, but you've lost plenty of socks... Think on't

QED