h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* , munches popcorn*


He's quite a thoroughbred ! Did you get anybody to take your bet on him Jodan ?

*scratches groin*

* *

uhh, no

Quietened down now though !

*reads paper*

Soooo, how are you two doing in the lineup for voluntary euthanasia? Anyone told you yet that it has nothing to do with Chinese teenagers?

Chinese teenagers? Oh, I underestimated you, cl zoomer. I thought you were only interested in people below that age.

*puts down newspaper, refreshes *

*takes up newspaper, orders chinese food*

Scum, scum, hoootoo scum
your brains are nowt more than what comes from my bum
so walk now go walk, you're making me baulk
and rid my poor self of your odious scum!

Nowt? I see that your spelling ability is even worse than your taste in people - yourself

'Nowt' is a word, try expanding your knowledge of the english language my dear, there's a whole world of dialects out there. On second thoughts, better not, you might give yourself a headache if you tried to think beyond 'ug' and what's for dinner.

Not in this context, you blind buffoon!

Admit that I'm superior to you in every way and we'll get on with it...

I am absolutely positive that you are superior to queeglesproggit, Jodan. As far above as the oil slick is above the slime on the bottom of the pothole filled with rancid rainwater. But you are both part of something greater, greater than say the heart of a pile of horse manure. Unfortunately you are both part of something lesser as well, in fact lesser than everything else of sentience and value on this good green Earth. I ask as a being beyond your comprehension, a thinking, breathing being called a *human* who asks as a representative of all humankind that you spare us the ignimony of soiling our hands and voluntarily cease to be, thereby increasing the net worth and intelligence of the entire planet tenfold.
Thank you.

You're insulting queeglesproggit? That's like crap insulting vomit!

*decides to keep it clear and simple, so that everyone will be able to follow and understand*

*throws a at 'Scrotum'*

*s*

*pats Jodan on the head*

There, there - it's OK, I know you weren't *really* aiming at me... RIGHT?

Actually Jodan, if Mummy had read the text to you properly, she would have let you know I was insulting you. I am sure she was just trying to shield your feelings, although what feelings a battle-hardened mutant giant slug would have, I am not sure.

As to the lovely Titania (&$@$%&**^$$#^).....sorry, I choked with the irony of the conjunction of those two words....I think I speak for the entire community here when I ask you to pucker up and osculate my posterior.

No, of course not.

-->scrotum

No, of course not.

-->scrotum

You were insulting us both, I concede, but from what I discerned from your drunken ramblings, you said that I was superior to him