h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, who is it!!???

It's not me, I promise!

Maybe they're a type of lichen that has evolved a very good way of getting their spore (the "glove" or "hat") distributed...

And on that note...where do they go to?? Because they never stay there for very long...even the REALLY filthy ones.

Also, who puts the shoes on the central reservation of the motorway? Are people really throwing their shoes out the window, and if so why?

Good point. I saw a pair of trousers in the middle of the road the other day. What were they doing in that car!

These gloves on gateposts. Do they have hands in them?

Its the right of every gate and fence post to wear the clothing of his/her own choice. Do people come up to you and scream "stripes and plaid, are you nuts!?!?!". Exactly. Well, I've never actually heard anyone scream that ever, actually, and I'm not 100% convinced I know what plaid is - I assume that this is what kilts are based around, but that's a big assumption. Hey, I don't give a shit either really, and I don't know why I just don't stop ty.......

It's a good question and deserves to be put back up front.

Y - reactivator

I was sitting on the train the other day and I noticed a set of garden furniture on the embankment. I had images of a family saying "What shall we do today? I know! Let's chuck the garden furniture over the fence!". All very strange.

The answer to the original question is old people. Or at least people over a certain age who naiavely believe that the parent of the child who has dropped said object can be a_sed to retrace their steps and reclaim it rather than going out and buying a new pair.

I actually picked up a lonesome (expensive looking) glove last week and put it on a wall. It was still there 3 days later so I took it home and put it in the bin.

I was once driving to pick up a friend when I heard a strange rattle from under my car. It lasted about 3 or 4 seconds and went away, didn't sound expensive and I assumed I'd gone over something. Two days later I noticed I didn't have a front numberplate. I put 2 and 2 together and drove back to where I'd heard the rattle. There, at the side of the pavement (that's footpath to you American types), leaning on a wall, was my number plate.

I was in the bus the other day and I saw a trainer on the side of the road. I had visions of someone getting home and saying "S**t! Where's me shoe!?"

Re: trousers in the central reservation.
I've been guilty of that - we took a new boy at our rugby club, coming back from an away game on the coach, poured beer over him, relieved him of his trousers and threw them out of the window.

Re: gloves/etc on gateposts.
I've also been guilty of that. Myá has a habit of taking one of her socks/pram shoes/toys/books and throwing them out of the pram without me noticing. Twice I've been spared the embaressment of explaining to Mrs SM why Myá is missing a sock/etc by kind people who put the items on a gatepost. I was hoping to return the favour to another unwitting parent.

Liam.

Kebab, I think it's "sidewalk" in American, not "footpath"

It's me. I confess all. I actually go to a local charity shop, buy there clothes and then scatter them about in a random fashion. Why? Why not?

It's me. I confess all. I actually go to a local charity shop, buy there clothes and then scatter them about in a random fashion. Why? Because I can?

OMG!! Simulpost with a diference!

Gateposts contain the spirit of house elves. by giving them clothes you set them free!

I thought it was that!

Just thought of a great idea come winter time: supposing we have a good covering of snow this year, why not build your snowman around a gatepost (with the post as a sort of concrete spine!) and then the spare glove/hat etc will not look too out of place - killing two birds with one stone really.
You'll also have fun watching from a distance as no doubt some big, hard kid will come along and try to demolish it. Would love to see their face as they ran off crying, having cracked their foot on the concrete gatepost!!

Is this a little too sadistic to be funny?

Not at all!!