h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a question that has puzzled me since I entered the wonderful world of work.

And the question re-asserts itself in several forms:
o Are greed, lust and avarice the worm in the apple of Eden? (That's theology for you)
o Is a woman ever satisfied by retail therapy? (How many shopping days to Chrismas??!!?)
o Why is a man's reach just a bit further than his grasp? (A mountaineering analogy)
o Why is the only happy man a poor one? (Ah, life!)

Can you help me with an answer (or is that too much to ask)?

One law which appears to be almost universal is that things will always expand to fit the available space/time/other metric. 'Nature abhors a vacuum' is the way it's normally put, although an objective look at the universe might suggest that nature actually quite likes vacuum, since there's so much of it around.

Space isn't actually a vacuum. There's actually about 1 atom of hydrogen per cubic inch. Come to think of it, that doesn't really count. But deep in the fundemental heart and mind of the universe, there is a reason. Or not.

I'm re-reading the 'Skylark' books by E.E.'Doc' Smith, and in one of them, they have to use a huge industrial pump in order to create enough of a vacuum so that their 'object compass' can be as accurate as possible. I never undertood why they just didn't go into space (since at this point in the story, they had the capability to travel faster than light by using the feindishly clever technique of just flying faster and faster) and construct their compass in the near-perfect vacuum of space.

What does an "object compass" do?

You can fix it on an object (a person, a planet, whatever) and it will always point at that object, wherever it is or wherever you are.

You're glad you asked now, aren't you?

So it's used for navigation? Or surveillance? Is the book worthwhile?

They obviously weren't using it for exploration then.

It was used to keep track of interesting planets they found.

The books are fun in an historical sense. Very old-fashioned, especially in their depiction of women, but they have a certain charm.

I suspect, however, they might be out of print. Try his Lensman series first, which are more epic, and are probably easier to find.

Back to the salary thing.

I think it's a bit like the dog chasing its own tail.
If you're paid monthly then you see all this money appear in your bank account. You think, "great I've got some money" so you feel its OK to go out and spend it on CDs, going out, clothes whatever.
So by the next week you've probably got only a fraction left in your account of what you started with.
So you have to spend the next 3 or so weeks not buying CDs, not going out much, etc.
There's always something that comes along - an unpaid bill, an invitation to go out you can't ignore because he/she/it are going to be there, or a CD comes out by your favourite band etc. - which you can't ignore. This leads to overspending and the last week or so before payday becomes a meagre existence eating stuff out of tins you don't really like that you left at the back of your cupboard, staying in and watching boring telly, cursing your rotten life etc.
Then just when it seems too unbearable and your down to ripping open the settee in search of loose change to purchase a Pot Noodle - Hey Presto, your next month's salary hits your account. Oh joy of joys you can finally afford all those CDs, clothes, tickets etc. so you overspend and the whole rotten circle starts again.

This phenomenon sometimes helps me to understand why people sit upon tall columns for forty years - you escape this cycle and just have perpetual poverty, which must be a bit comforting.

I have another theory on the salary thing.
You know how women who are close have their periods synchronize, well I reckon all close friends' bank balances synchronize too in a short space of time. That would explain the difficulty in "just borrowing a fiver 'til I'm paid" off anyone who knows you.

Ahhh, but that synchronisation things sometimes goes a-cock. A friend and I were both paid monthly, me at the start and he half way through the month. This meant that when I was skint he was flush and vice versa. Thus one of us always had the money to get another round in. Simple, but I bet that any any suggestion to employers to change pay days for individual employees for this reason would get pretty short shrift. Shame.

Am adding a question about the cans, you inspired me...

The answer is obviously in your name. 'Project manager extrordinaire' indicates to me that you are a person who continually strives for excellence. It seems that you *know* you are going to get that next promotion and so you are trying out the lifestyle.
I commend you - I love to hear about people with that much confidence in the future, and I bet the lifestyle is pretty good as well!

I read your question as Why does my saliva run out before the mouth ends? I wanted to reply Whose mouth? but at that instant my eyes unfortunately came in to focus revealing my mistake..... slightly deluded from lack of oxygen to the brain no doubt. Still I thought you should know the seconds of laughter I experienced from the revelation and felt it appropriate to thank you for the pleasure.

presently sleepy
91676

I thought that carefully planning my expenditure using a finance programme like 'Quicken' would solve this problem. NO! It is the umpteenth extension of Murpy's law that the more carefully you plan your spending, the larger and more outrageous the unexpected expense is!! and my saliva only runs out of the ends of my mouth when Britney shakes that thang.

This one seems obvious to me, it is because your employer doesn't pay you for your H2G2 surf-time.

They don't...?

A